On my way to work today, I came to the realization that I'd been feeling uninspired in the kitchen and
somehow needed to get myself going again. It led me to begin thinking about some of the key motivations that inspire me. While not a comprehensive list and certainly more EMO than practical, writing this actually did lead to a new source of inspiration which you'll read about in the upcoming weeks, I presume.
The Reaction
I'd say one of the most motivating and satisfying parts of cooking are those few moments of unprompted joy and satisfaction I see from someone eating a dish I've made for them. I can sometimes see surprise in their expressions, sometimes a hint of questioning and thought, sometimes a hint of revelation, sometimes the makings of a smile. There is the rare occasion in which a dish can turn someone from grumpy to upbeat, and those moments are slightly unforgettable for me. Don't be confused - I'm not talking about accolades or gracious thank yous. While those are certainly great, the unscripted and often subtle moments of appreciation are immensely satisfying to me.
Embracing The Potential to Fail
The first thing I started to feel when I began cooking for people was the pressure of serving a dish that didn't seem to be working out accordingly to plan. At one point, I stopped worrying about the potential of making mistakes. As you'd expect, the sense of liberation was refreshing. Cooking for someone is like giving them a gift. When *most* people are given a gift, they appreciate it for what it is - an expression of thoughtfulness and generosity. This attitude allowed me to become bolder and riskier in the flavors combinations and dishes I'd serve. If I gave them something unexpected that wasn't absolutely perfect, they'd appreciate it just as much (if not more). This attitude change didn't relax my standards at all, but gave me the confidence to focus on seeing the end dish at the end of the tunnel, rather than all of the roadbumps in between.
I wrote about this when writing about the raw dinner I made recently. I never aim to settle for being the master of my own domain. Every few months, I become obsessed with a new ingredient, a new technique, a new cuisine, a new culture, a new cookbook. And I immerse myself in it. My next foray will be into Japanese cuisine and ingredients. I am currently reading Morimoto's new book, which is about to launch me into a new set of dishes to add to the repertoire. New challenges, new ingredients, new cooking gadgets, new techniques, new restaurants....they all keep cooking fresh and fun for me.
Market Moments
Something magical happens to me when I shop for ingredients. I begin to envision a dish in my head, then begin to fill in the gaps by choosing ingredients that will balance flavors, textures and create an interesting presentation. This process is one of those precious times in which I enjoy being alone. I love cranking music and wandering the market with my cell phone off for a half an hour. It's a bit of a creative escape for me.
The Post Dinner Buzz
No matter how I feel before or while I'm cooking, there's one thing that I can always revel in - the post cooking buzz. The more people I serve, the bigger the buzz. After doing my events for 50 people, it generally takes me hours to come down. I need to go out, I need to have a few drinks, I need to talk about the food and the event in detail. I'm just a huge bundle of energy. I can't imagine what a rock star feels like after a performance, but I suspect it's similar (and better!). Rarely do I ever cook and want to hang out on the couch afterward. And now that I know this about myself, I look forward to the buzz and energy I know will be waiting for me at the end of the meal. It's a bit thrilling to know that when the last dish is served, I'm going to be an energetic ball of enthusiasm.





Good thoughts
Posted by: Marco | December 04, 2007 at 08:43 AM
Wonderful post... a joy to read.
Posted by: clumsy | December 04, 2007 at 04:08 PM
Heh, you have very nicely articulated the highs of cooking, thanks. I agree wholeheartedly with every point. Travelling is especially exquisite because of those market moments, where you find all sorts of incredible surprises and instant inspiration.
I also really appreciate your obsession with being "uncomfortable," which is something I also strive to do. When things start feeling routine in the kitchen; when what I'm cooking isn't a challenge, where the uncertainty of the end product isn't there, you lose the rush.
I also recently jumped into Japanese cuisine, and I feel there's no better book to start with than Japanese Cooking: A Simple Art. It's my new bible. The amazing thing about Japanese cuisine is its brutal simplicity. It'll quickly leak over into everything you do.
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