Johnny Moneyburner and the Tale of the $7K Grill That Sucks

I'm sorry I haven't posted this sooner, but it slipped my mind until now.

A few Sundays ago in the NY Times Sunday Style section, I noticed an article about souped up, high end grills.  I was on my way out of NYC to enjoy Memorial Day grilling for once in a blue moon.  In some ways, I was traveling to grill.  Pathetic but true.

To my horror, this article was not about celebrating the joys of grilling or the art of the Q.  In fact, it highlighted for me that I am very naive about the world of food and cooking.  I am not clueless enough to think that most other people share the passion for food and cooking that we do.  In fact, only a few of the people I spend time with on a daily basis share this passion with me.  Which is fine.  To each their own. 

But you can imagine my rage as I read the following on the way to a desperate attempt to have the rare chance to BBQ. 

"Last fall, Dave and Allison Petrullo of Commack, N.Y., installed a custom-built Cal Spas grill on their patio with an outdoor refrigerator. They spent more than $100,000 renovating their backyard with a new synthetic deck, masonry, a whirlpool and a pool waterfall, so $6,500 more for Mr. Petrullo to have a brick sanctuary with a Cal Spas grill as its central altar seemed like nothing. "I told him to just go for it," Ms. Petrullo said. "And get your dream barbecue."

Though they have actually cooked on the grill only three times since they installed it, it has been a hit with Mr. Petrullo's friends, who congregate around it at parties and give it a going-over like a pack of high school boys around a Corvette, Ms. Petrullo said. "They like to lift up the hood and play with the knobs," she said. "They open the doors underneath, and they open the fridge next to it to check it out."

WTF?

Is this for real? Let me get this straight.  They just dumped $7K so their man-child friends can come over and play with fucking knobs? What a joke.  I love the picture of them above.  The dude, Johnny Moneyburner, is using a big-ass fork to puncture the meat he is grilling, so all of the juices run out. Nice.

Oh, by the way.  I wouldn't even trade my handy Weber pit charcoal grill for that rinky dink shit grill in the photo.  The extras around the sides are cool, but that grill sucks ass.   I can just see Johnny Moneyburner evaluating the decision as to whether or not to flush $7K down the toilet.  "Honey this is a no brainer.  Grill sucks? Check.  Won't ever use it? Check.  Outrageous price tag? Check.  This is the grill of my dreams."

"Oh honey, you're my hero....AND WE'RE IN THE TIMES!!"

Comments

[elizabeth]

couldn't agree more, especially about the piercing of the meat. That put me over the edge.

Mom and me reading the times:
Mom: I just don't understand why you want to move back to the city and leave Westchester.
Me (pointing to that picture): these people.

[Pete]

Good effing lord. That thing looks about half the size of a $100 charbroil grill. What a waste. But he's so lucky to be able to show off to his friends how much money he has to burn! Whoopee! These are the same people who jack up their kitchens with Sub-Zero's and Viking Ranges when all they really use is a microwave to heat up take-out.

[Michael Dietsch]

Hi Joe,

I blogged about the same thing, right after the article appeared, and it seems you and I reached the same conclusions--not that those conclusions are difficult to agree on. My blog entry is here, if you're interested:

http://www.michaeldietsch.com/mt32archives/2006/05/28/gimp_my_grill.html

[Alex]

so what?
Let these people do whatever they want to do. Maybe they're ridiculous. But you're ridiculous too if you treat them publicly with such anger I guess. Be a foodie and not a food guerillero ;)
have a nice weekend
alex

[Adam]

Huh?!?! What's the point of that tiny little thing? Why is it so expensive? Even high-end infrared grills--with a LOT more cooking surface--aren't that much! It doesn't have a rotisserie or anything (that I can see, at least) built in, either, and it doesn't appear to have a smoker... I don't get it -- what did they spend the $6500 on, and what are their friends impressed with? "Wow, Bob, your tiny grill compliments your other tiny asset very nicely! Only difference is, you can keep cooking for more than 5 minutes with the grill..." ;-p

[0Matthew]

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[Customer Care Supervisor]

We proudly manufacture our Cal Flame grills with the highest quality and back up our product with our manufacture's Warranty. We apologize to hear that you feel these consumers spent too much money, but I'm sure they are proud of their investment and our confident that they will have many years of enjoyment. Please consider our products in the future as we treat our customers as KING's and your satisfaction is our focus.

- Customer Care Supervisor