foodie nyc

ILSL Monthly Recipe: Spicy Lime-Aid Ceviche

Yes folks, here it is.  The first ever I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe
kicks off today with a wimper. 

Apparently, I am alone in my loathing of Sandra Lee.  (Or the thousands of people who have clicked on the link are not interested in cooking. Great - this website is worthless). 

No worries lazy and quite loathers, I will march on with my mission of creating a forum to publicy protest the Semi-Human disaster that occurs on the Food Network each and every day.

As you may recall, the March recipe from the Sandra Lee calendar is for a sherry glazed cake and a lime-aid beverage.  I have decided to undo her 70% semi homemade, 30% creativity formula by using her lime-aid recipe as inspiration.   So the 0% semi-homemade means...holy shit Sandra....I am going to use REAL LIMES.  Not bogus processed juice from concentrate.  I even flick Sandra the finger by using lime rinds.  That's right, Sandra, limes have a skin.  They are green. They taste... like a lime! Gasp.  You should go out and buy a lime one day and check it out.

In my search to become 100% creative, I started to think about how great the sweet and sour lime juice would be with fish.   In fact, I thought it would be even better as a ceviche.  The citrus would be balanced with sweetness (a bit of sugar) but also a touch of spiciness (a pinch of cayenne) to create an interesting combination of flavors. 

I thought this spicy lime-aid would be balanced with dried cranberries, cool and creamy avocado, toasted sesame seeds, crunchy and fresh jicama and sushi grade tuna and salmon. I loved the mix of fresh tuna and salmon in this dish- the textures and tastes are different enough to be interesting yet they also compliment each other well.

My recipe for Tuna and Salmon Spicy Lime-Aid Ceviche follows.  Thanks for the inspiriation, Sandy.  Till next month, when I hope to get more loathers on board....

Turnip Gratin

I had a bunch of turnips sitting in the fridge after the last foodie,where we made a turnip puree (recipe here). What to do with the rest? 

Steak was on the menu, so I needed something creamy and hearty.  I thought a turnip gratin would be a low maintenance dish to make.  Slicing the turnips thinly was the only real chore here.

The opportunity to add your own creative touch is to infuse a flavor or two into your milk, which will ultimately work with the turnips as the dish bakes.  I chose smoked paprika (thanks mom), rosemary and nutmeg, with just a touch
of mustard. 

After baking, I covered the turnips with panko (Japanese breadcrumbs) for a light and toasty crunch.

 

Shrimp Stuffed Squid, Hazelnut Dust, Blood Orange Reduction

I am the first to admit that my lifestyle is a bit expensive.  My food and wine passions are really only fulfilled by experiencing them frequently.  You can't understand great wines until you taste them. Same with average wines.  This is also true with great food and cooking.  I learned a long time ago that I couldn't create inspired dishes at home without tasting how the most innovative restaurants and chefs did it in their own restaurants. Further, I could only set benchmarks for excellence by comparing restaurants to each other, which continually allows me to draw from these experience for inspiration.  I treat virtually every meal I eat in a restaurant as much more than a temporary investment in satisfaction. 

Dining at Charlie Trotter's will effect my cooking as I'm sure you'll see here.  A few nights after this experience, I went to the market looking to make a lite fish dish for dinner.  I saw whole squid and obviously had to stuff it with something like I had at Trotter's.  Then I randomly remembered a shrimp stuffed squid dish I had at 71 Clinton Fresh Food while Wylie was cooking there.  Perfect.  I'd make my Spanish-style shrimp, flavored with garlic, olive oil and parsley.  I wanted a bit of creaminess, so i picked up an avocado.  I needed something acidic to balance the flavors, so I picked up some freshly squeezed blood orange juice (just buy a couple and squeeze your own) and reduced it by 3/4 until a syrup-like consistency. 

The final piece came together when thinking about how I'd cook the squid.  After I stuffed the cooked and chopped shrimp into the squid and seasoned the exterior with salt and pepper, I dredged it in flour and submerged it in hot vegetable oil for about 1 minute. I then took it out, rolled it in some very finely ground hazelnuts (thus the dust) and put it back in the hot oil for another 15 secs.

While the collective experience of tossing cash at Charlie Trotter and Wylie Dufresne may have seemingly only given me temporary pleasure, somehow I see these experiences as investments that continually pay me back over time.

Spanish-Style Garlic Shrimp

I was just about to post a squid recipe I made a few nights
ago based on a dish from Charlie Trotter's, but realized that I hadn't posted one of the key elements of that dish on this site - the Spanish-style garlic shrimp I make very frequently at home. 

This shrimp recipe needs to be on this site, in all of its garlic, olive oil and paprika glory.  I had shrimp made in this style a few times in Spain last summer (San Sebastian specifically) and it was indeed very similar to my recipe, though they tend to broil the same ingredients in clay pot (which comes out sizzling). I also make it a bit more refined by straining some of the sauce elements, but you can skip that step.  I do when I'm just making this casually at home.

So today you get one of my favorite ways to make shrimp.  I'll post the squid dish that incorporates this shrimp recipe soon. Until then....

Tasting Menu from Charlie Trotter's

I was lucky enough to go to Chicago recently and experience a few nights of consecutive 'off the menu' tastings, crafted especially for us, at both Charlie Trotter's and Tru.  In both cases, we received a mix of 'off the menu' items and a few variations from the current tasting menus.  Since we had these tastings over consecutive days, I will compare and contrast them after I post the Tru experience (in a few days).

I just want to say that I NEVER post pictures of food from restaurants on this site, even though I eat out frequently.  (Not meaning to diss those of you who do that on other blogs - I just dine to enjoy, not report at this point in my life). I am posting photos here because I do not want to forget any one of these dishes- EVER! Finally, just so you don't think I eat like this every day (only on the weekends, duh), this was a big (belated) birthday milestone for me, or so people tell me. (FYI, all pictures are clickable for more detail).

My Birthday Tasting Weekend in Chicago
Charlie Trotter's
March 18, 2006

We were greeted with complimentary glasses of champagne.  Just because. What a way to feel special from the start of the tasting.

Amuse

Yellowfin Tuna
wasabi, turnip puree

The raw tuna was amazing flavorful and pristine.  I was excited to see a turnip puree here, since I make this puree frequently.  There was a flavorful little broth that was a bit soup like (as opposed to citrus, ceviche like juices) that really brought this all together.  Very inspiring beginning.

First

Squid Stuffed with Tapioca and Olive Tapenade
Squid ink, olive oil

An inspiring dish for me (as you'll see on this site shortly, I made a version at home the next day!).  The squid was perfectly seared.  The stuffing on the inside featured the briny olive tapenade, which in combination with the earthy squid ink sauce was beyond phenomenal.  The tapioca added a nice texture but as you know, I am really into tapioca and thought it was a bit lost.  There was an exquisite olive oil drizzle over the dish - so good I noticed it even with the above flavors competing.

Second

Salmon Sous Vide
chive puree, roe

I have never had salmon sous vide before. I have never tasted anything like it, so it was a revelation to me.  The texture was phenomenal - soft, barely warm, yet melt on the mouth good.  Crunchy sea salt on top of the salmon was perfect touch.  The chive puree worked to add freshness to eat bite, while the roe added that from the sea saltiness.  There was a crisp piece of skin that was added as a textural counterpoint to one of the salmon disks, but oddly enough not the other.

Rabbit with melted shallots
parsley emulsion, pumpernickel croutons

This dish came out in addition to the salmon so we could taste  multiple preparations during this course. It just didn't work.  The rabbit was flavorless, not tender enough to have been sous vide and not flavorful enough to have been grilled or seared.  Gah.  The parsley emulsion didn't contribute much, while the shallots were very much overwhelming to the rabbit and the emulsion.  This was the only clunker of the night.

Third

Pork Four Ways

This was insane and one of my favorite courses from both tastings we did in Chicago.  This is classic Trotter to me.  When I read his cookbooks, I am always blown away by the multiple preparations he'll do in one dish.  On this plate was a braised (or sous vide) and seared piece of meltingly soft pork shoulder on a mushroom puree, then what must have been a sous vide piece of the belly, followed by a cured prosciutto-like slices, and finally a smoky and tender slice of the loin.  Holy heaven.

Fourth

Bison
veal sweet bread on polenta, parsnip puree, a smoky dark puree?

The sweet bread was a nice, soft nugget with a unique breading - almost tempura style. Soft polenta was a nice match.   The bison was meltingly tender - could have been roasted at very low temps or again sous vide and seared to finish.  This must have been the case as the medium rareness was spread throughout the piece of bison, rather than the rings of seared, well, medium and rare we get when cooked at very high heat.  The smoky puree really worked well with the bison.   Didn't really get how the sweetbreads and bison worked together on the same plate.  I am one of those that think everything needs to work as a cohesive unit on the plate and I thought the 2 sauces, 2 unrelated meats and polenta didn't have a uniting purpose.  But tasty, regardless.

Palate Cleanser

Meyer Lemon, Olive oil sorbet

Two words:  Phenomenal; refreshing.

Five

Gorgonzola with melon
honey drizzle, crouton

Kinda bummed we didn't get a choice on the cheese.  You'll see how this contrasted with Tru when I post that later.  Very nice flavors - simple creamy Gorgonzola with the melon was a nice combo.  We were given a complimentary glass of a Soave dessert wine from Italy that was remarkable (kicking myself for lack of wine notes, sorry to everyone and especially me, as no doubt I would have pursued this one to purchase in the future).

Dessert

Look, I am not a dessert person.  I know, I know.  Whatever.  But these desserts were excellent of course, so I will report them. 

A simple mango (i think) glazed panna cotta was awesome.  Soft, light, sweet citrus balanced.  A cinnamon ice cream with pears was phenomenal and simple.  Missing one dessert, sorry.

The Best Part

We were given a tour of the kitchen.  Unprompted.   We went to each station, chatted with the team and was given a run through of the equipment.   I took pictures of the sous vide machine, as I've never seen one that large before. The dude in charge of that station would take the meat from the bag and grill it right in front of him.  He was also grilling the above squid and a few other items.

Love all the copper.  And those long chop sticks for plating are fantastic.

Finally, we met Chef Trotter near the door.   He appeared out of nowhere, as we learned he lives in a connected house right in the front of the restaurant.  We joked a bit.  I asked him if he was taping any more of his PBS series of which I am a fan, and he said they were just about to tape 22 episodes.  Yes!

I left on a high that lasted for days.  The entire experience was top notch - the service fantastic, the dining room spread across mutliple levels of a town house felt like a home, and of course the food was excellent.  But meeting Trotter was over the top. 

The guy is a living legend, with good reason. 

I will compare and contrast this tasting with Tru and previous experiences at Per Se and Jean Georges in a few days, as I feel they are all in the same class.

Related:  Tasting Menu at Tru (with comparisons to Trotter's)

Juniper Beurre Monte, Goat Cheese Tortellini

As you've read over the past month or so, I've recently been enjoying pink peppercorn.  I was picturing toasting it, grinding it roughly in a coffee grinder, and infusing it into a beurre monte, as I did at the last foodie.

The pink peppercorn can be pungent.  I love to infuse it into rich dishes, mainly because they act like a vessel to carry the pink peppercorn aromatic, floral flavors.  So when I went into my cabinet, couldn't find them and saw a bottle of juniper berries handy, I didn't hesitate.  I toasted them in a dry pan, as I would pink peppercorn.  I ground them in a coffee grinder and infused a few pinches into a beurre monte, which would gently coat my goat cheese tortellini.

It was an excellent experiment.  The juniper has flavors similar to the pink peppercorn - actually just a bit more intense.  Next time I make something like this (shortly), I will try not grinding the berries in order to downplay the flavors.  I definitely recommend experimenting with juniper, pink peppercorn fans. 

I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe: March 2006

OK, fellow Sandra Lee loathers.  We are all set to begin the first ever I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe.  For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, read everything you need to know about this here.

So here's how this will work.  Every month I will publish the monthly recipes exactly as published by the Queen of processed food on this site.  I will then marinate in the stew of her awfulness for between one and two weeks and then post my own version of her recipe on the last day of the month, but without her 70% semi-homemade and 30% creativity theory.   The goal of the I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe will be to use her recipe "ideas" and undue her horrific formula, creating a recipe that is 0% semi-homemade and 100% creative.

If you are interested in showing the world how much you loathe Sandra and her semi-homemade theory, please send me your submissions for the March 2006 I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe by noon March 30th.  I'll post them (and a link to your blog) on this site on March 31.

After the jump are two recipes exactly as published in the March 2006 calendar. 

First, we have Sandy's Sherry Tea Cakes, made from a box mix and instant Jell-O pudding.  We are also blessed with Sandy's version of Limeaid, in which she wisely avoids fresh fruit of any kind.  There are many ways you can approach undoing her recipes.  For the limeaid recipe, you could...gasp....use an actual LIME! You know, the fresh kind! Or you can create another type of sweet and sour fresh juice drink...or even a cocktail.  Maybe even use a form of the limeaid as part of a dish like ceviche.  Remember, to undue a Sandra Lee recipe you only need to be more than 30% creative!

You get the idea.  Have fun and look forward to any submissions I might receive. 

Introducing the I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe

I recently received an unmarked box sent to me by an anonymous reader of this site.  This ingenious and slightly deranged person sent me a Sandra Lee Semi Homemade Calendar, courtesy of the Food Network.  Of course, this kind hearted reader sent me this "gift" in response to recent ramblings on how much Sandra Lee bugs me and how nauseating I find her.

After laughing my ass off, spending an entire day thinking about who sent this to me (reveal yourself, funny guy) and wondering if I am being stalked by Sandra Lee herself (wow, that would be awesome, actually.  Sandra, stalk me!), I realized that I needed to put this unfortunate Semi Homemade calendar "gift" to good use.

The Sandra Lee calendar features a lot of unwholesome, cheesy, tacky and horrendously unauthentic tips for kitchen hacks to reference each month of the year.  These come in the form of monthly recipes and entertaining advice designed to make you look foolish in front of friends and family.

Let me have Sandra explain this brilliant calendar for herself, courtesy of the outer cover:

"My "semi-homemade" approach reveals how to cook, decorate and entertain more easily, with sensational results.  By combining 70% ready-made with 30% of your own creativity, you'll enjoy 100% of the credit....in a fraction of the time.  Each month, this calendar offers some of my favorite 70/30 recipes, designed to fit in your recipe box."

It goes without saying that this 70/30 approach goes against virtually everything I find important to cooking, creating meals, enjoying food, as well as buying and shopping for fresh, seasonal ingredients.

In protest of this hack being on national television, I will be posting a monthly recipe on this site called the I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe.

On the last day of every month,  I will take one of her recipes from the current month of her Semi- Awful calendar and create my own I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe based on whatever her recipe "idea" was for the month.  The recipe will be created in the anti-Semi Homemade philosophy.  Forget 70/30 ratios combining laziness, unhealthiness and mindless, uncreative behavior. The I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe will be 0% ready-made and 100% creativity.   I will use her recipe idea and make something that actually took thought, time and impeccably fresh, seasonal, unconcentrated, unpreserved, unprocessed ingredients. 

During the middle of each month, I will announce the Sandra Lee monthly calendar recipe from which I will be cooking the new I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe from.  Here's where you come in.   If you are interested in posting your pictures or your own I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe,  I will post them (along with a link to your blog) with my monthly recipe for all fellow loathers to enjoy.

Look out for first Semi Homemade recipe from the March calendar shortly.  I'll then post the first I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe(s) on the last day of March.

Join the loathing and send in your recipes! The more the merrier.  All 0%/100% efforts will proudly be accepted!

Menu From Our Chocolate Tasting

Here's the menu from our March 12th Chocolate Tasting.

All in all, I thought the menu and the wine pairings turned out very well. 

My intention was to feature chocolate as an overall component to a dish, demonstrating that it can work in combination with other ingredients rather than overwhelm them.  In many cases, other ingredients and tastes were the star of the dish and chocolate was used to compliment those flavors.  I think we achieved this goal very well, which I found very satisfying.  We received lots of great feedback from many of you who attended (58 in total), which is always helpful and appreciated.  Keep it coming! It was also a pleasure to have met so many new guests - really enjoyed chatting with as many of you as I did.

Until the next one (hopefully before Memorial Day)......

             foodie
Six Course Chocolate Tasting

               **

Cocoa Plantain

goat cheese, orange, pumpkin seed

Wonton Spoon

bittersweet chocolate oxtail, parsnip puree, pink peppercorn butter

2003 Scarpantoni Chardonnay, Mc Laren Valley

              **

Blood Orange, Beet Salad

carrot, white chocolate, pine nuts, sprouts, truffle oil

 2004 Cartlidge & Browne Chardonnay

             **

Hazelnut Parmigiano Flan

mushroom chocolate reduction

2001 Sierra Cantabria Cuvee Especial

            **

Cocoa Curry Coffee Crusted Pork Loin 

white turnip puree, oxtail braise reduction

2004 Terrazas Malbec Reserva

           **

Duck Dark Chocolate

chipotle goat cheese couscous, watercress sauce

2004 Bodegas Borsao Tres Picos Garnacha

          **

Milk Chocolate Green Tea Tart

homemade lemongrass, black pepper ice cream

2000 Fonseca Vintage Port, Late Bottle Vintage

Paula Deen Chugging Melted Butter

As discussed here, Paula Deen is on a mission to kill Americans and herself with butter overload. 

Take a look at this segment, captured brilliantly by TVgasm.

Taco Emporium

One of the best parts about spending a few weeks in LA recently was the ability to fulfill my taco obsession.  I love freshly made soft corn tortillas, filled with juicy braised or grilled beef, fresh fish, marinated and grilled chicken, amazingly fresh salsas, perfect light and fluffy guacamole, hot sauces, blah blah.  I think I ate tacos every day while I was out there.   Even if only to order a single taco on a given visit, this was an amazing thing for me. Why? A taco is a freaking taco, right?

Uh, no. 

You see, I live in the taco ghetto of the Western world, Manhattan. 

You heard me correctly.  Mexican food here SUCKS, I don't care what anyone says.  Sure, maybe you can stumble on a single place that serves one kind of taco that is average or if you are lucky, just good.  Maybe it's a yuppy taco drizzled with yuppified yuppiness (I know, ironic coming from me). But I like my tacos without any BS.  Just straight up freshness and simple bursts of flavor. And don't tell me to go to Queens or something for them.  I don't travel for freaking tacos.  When I want tacos, I just need them right away. 

New York needs a taco haven.  I want to bring tacos to all New Yorkers who wander around the streets in a drunken haze craving them (just me?).  If you get off on Taco Bell, this place would not be for you.   Everything here is impeccably fresh.  We'd serve every type of taco you can ever imagine. It's all we would serve.  Tacos with grilled garlic shrimp.  Tacos with braised short ribs.  Tacos with grilled leg of lamb.  Chili tacos.  Fried fish tacos.

Welcome to Taco Emporium.         

I am your host, the king of tacos, Taco Joe.

That's right folks.  We'd have a guy named Tortilla Tim and his sidekick Corn Masa Mike.   Corn Masa Mike would make corn tortilla batter all freaking day long, out in the open for all Taco Emporium patrons to see.  Tortilla Tim would press them in tortilla presses and make fresh corn tortillas of all size. Behind and above him would be huge contraptions that were spitting out tortillas at a rapid pace.  It would look like Willy Wonka and the Tortilla Factory.  Mini tacos, regular tacos.  NO burritos! NO Chimichangas! NO Quesadillas! This is TACO Emporium.

You'd walk past Avocado Anna.  Her sole job is to remove fresh avocado from their skins and mash them in a bowl right in front of you.   She squeezes lime juice, tosses in some fresh onion, garlic and whatever the hell you want and makes a light fluffy guacamole for you in about 2 minutes flat.  You love it.   

You'd walk by Salsa Sven.  All he does is make fresh salsa to order.  He has ten different salsas for you - salsa verde, salsas of varying heat, pureed chilis condiments, fresh cucumber salsa, corn salsas.  He'll wear a white headband that says Salsa Sven and the ladies will love him. Food reviewers will coddle over the hot new "bar chef".  Forget bar chef, he will be the first salsa bar chef.  Once he blows up and lands on the cover of TONY, he'll need an attitude adjustment and will probably quit.   But Taco Emporium will be bigger than Salsa Sven.

Nothing could ever overshadow the taco innovation that put Taco Emporium on the map.  Because we wouldn't rest on our 100 taco laurels.  We'd always be constantly creating and innovating.  Take the poached taco salad, for example.  That's right, people.  Poached.  Taco.  Salad.  Having a hard time wrapping your head around that one? Just stop.  You'll never get it.  But you'll crave it.   And we'll have a full vegetarian section.  Like the poached carrot taco.  Again, stop over thinking it.  This is Taco Emporium.  I am Taco Joe.  We know tacos.

Last but certainly not least, Taco Emporium will have a "kick-ass bar scene".  In fact, we will say exactly that in our press materials.  We will have the best jukebox in the city, as Taco Joe will hand pick each and every album.  In fact, I may pioneer a new type of jukebox for Taco Emporium, in line with our tradition of innovation (poached tacos, people. stop drooling.).  Like a big jukebox that looked like a taco.  This would be the cornerstone of our kick ass bar scene.

As the final piece of resistance, we will offer a VIP taco club.   If you went to our website, tacoemporium.com, you'd be able to pay a one time fee for $9.99.  This fee will allow you special access to the VIP area of the Taco Emporium bar whenever you'd like.  Sure, the VIP area will look exactly the same as the regular bar and would only be separated by a chain link, but that doesn't matter.  You'd be in the company with other Taco Emporium regulars.  Better yet, you'd receive a TE embroidered Member's Only jacket to reaffirm your membership into elite taco status. You'll probably be able to sell it on eBay shortly after for, like, double the VIP membership fee.

I know.  This is a lot to digest and will certainly revolutionize the NYC taco scene. Taco scene, people.  Say it over and over to yourself.  Taco scene.

I will be fielding limited partnership options beginning right now.  Limited is the key word here - there is only one Taco Joe at Taco Emporium.

Back to cooking soon once foodie concludes on 3/12.....

And the Winner Is.....

I received lots of great submissions for the Savory Chocolate Contest - thanks to everyone who took the time to submit their work and ideas!

The winner was very hard for me to choose, for a variety of reasons.  We had some fantastic food photography, some excellent creative ideas that made me drool, as well as some interesting storytelling.

I gravitated toward a submission that I very much identified with.  For those of you who read this site frequently and/or cook as often as I do,  cooking is often a labor of love.  As much as we are in the 30 Minute Rachel Ray era, great food doesn't just fall from the sky.  It takes effort to create great food.  In fact, the best food often requires planning, attention to detail, trial and error and sometimes, even 13 hours of effort. The current foodie event I am working on will require about 72 hours of straight work, with breaks only for sleeping and minimal eating.

That's why I have chosen Jake Lemkowitz the winner of the Foodie NYC Savory Chocolate Contest.  I admire Jake's passion and commitment to go all out in the pursuit of great BBQ.  I also enjoyed his experimenting with chocolate and BBQ, something that sounds incredibly delicious to me (smoke, spice, dark chocolate, ribs....).  Jake did his BBQ the right way - low and slow.  And he'd learned from mistakes with temperature from previous BBQ experiences.  Not to mention 13 hours of BBQing in the snowy winter weather of Ohio - god bless him. 

Jake, you (or a friend) are the winner of a night of enjoying the fruits of my labor as well as lots of great wine at a foodie event of your choice. 

Here's Jake's story in his own words, as well as a picture of his creation.

________________________________

Jake Lemkowitz - Chocolate BBQ Brisket

"I'd like to enter the Foodie Savory Chocolate Contest with a recipe for a chocolate infused barbecue brisket that I made for the Superbowl.

The day before I made a dry rub out of salt, pepper, a lot of chile powder,coffee grounds, Hershey's cocoa powder, and powdered mustard. I rubbed it into the two six pound slabs of brisket. Then I let the meat sit in the refrigerator overnight. When I woke up the next morning, there was a blizzard outside my window (I live in Ohio), but I decided to bravely press  on with the most intrepid winterbeque of all time.

In the freezing cold, I managed to light some mesquite coals. I added woodchips and began (indirectly) cook the brisket at around nine a.m. While the coals were still heating up, I made a mop to baste the brisket with over the course of the day. I used a few cups of leftover turkey stock, a teaspoon of bacon fat, some of the dry rub, a shot of whiskey, and a whole bar of Lindt dark chocolate. I boiled it down a little, and then kept the mop warm on the stovetop, basting the brisket with it every forty-five minutes or so.

Usually my biggest problem with barbecue is that it's hard for me to keep the coals cool enough so that the meat doesn’t get dry. Now with the snow storm going on outside, my coals wouldn’t stay lit! It was truly an epic battle, mankind versus the elements. There were moments where I thought that I didn't have the energy to go on, but in the end, mankind, and brisket, prevailed. By the time the brisket was finally ready to eat, it had been barbecued and basted with the chocolate mop continuously for just over THIRTEEN AND A HALF HOURS!

The chocolate worked amazingly well with the flavor of the mesquite smoke and the spicy dry rub. It not only helped the brisket achieve a beautiful caramelized outer crust, but it greatly intensified the flavor of the meat which came out juicy and perfect. The recipe was born when we decided to use cocoa powder as a replacement for brown sugar in the dry rub. After that, adding a chocolate bar into to the mix seemed only natural. To give the flavors their space, we  took out all garlic and onion flavors. That kind of stuff is usually standard in brisket, but the taste ended up being A LOT more dynamic without them.

Anyways, it was the best BBQ I've ever made, and considering the weather and the amount of meat, it was also by far the most ambitious.  Maybe not the greatest food photography (Styrofoam plate of Polish sausage in the background), but you get the idea. Keep up the good work!"

            

Reminder: Savory Chocolate Contest

Just a reminder that today is the deadline to submit your entries for the Savory Chocolate Contest.

Entries were due today at noon and I've received lots of good stuff.  I am extending the deadline until midnight tonight as I won't have time to make a decison until then anyway.....so enter now! Free food and wine for the winner!

Pasta Express: The I-talian Taste-Off

Maybe some of you have seen the infomercial for the Pasta Express - a circular plastic tube that holds pasta and allows you to pour boiling water into it.  After a few minutes of poaching your pasta in the hot water, all you have to do is tip it over to drain and voila, it's poached.  No pots.  No excess water.  No strainer.  No way!

I have decided to write my own script for the next round of infomercials for Pasta Express.  Please, advertising and marketing team over at FUCKOVERAMERICA.COM, please read my script and treatment.  I am available to see this work through for you. Let me know!

PASTA EXPRESS INFOMERCIAL SCRIPT
2006 CAMPAIGN REFRESH
Commerical Title: "I-talian Taste-Off"

Open on an short, overweight balding man with an 80's porn mustache.  He is dressed in a low budget chef jacket, with the PASTA EXPRESS logo clearly marked on his chest. Underneath the logo reads "Chef Chaz".   It is clear to the audience that he is not a chef, but he plays one on TV.  You know the gag.  It's an infomercial.  This is infomercial gold and we cannot walk away from the equity we've previously built in the genre.

Chef Chaz is in a demo booth on what appears to be a crowded street in Italy. 

Chef Chaz to camera: "Hi, I'm Chef Chaz.  I'm the chef here at Pasta Express, and I'm here to demonstrate an amazing invention!"

Chef Chaz: "We are here in Italy, the pasta capital of the world to show you that I-talians like the taste of limp, soggy, flavorless pasta that poaches in a small amount of water, i.e. the science that is PASTA EXPRESS!"

Chef Chaz:  "To demonstrate this, we will cook our pasta in Pasta Express and this I-talian grandmother will make pasta in a turn of the century pot...and get this...she will actually put the pasta in a large pot of boiling water!"

Cut to a shot of a bunch Americans seated in a studio, gasping in horror.  They are clearly in a studio, not on the Italian street.  (This is important informercial equity that we must hold dear to our work). Cue laugh track.

Cut to Chef Chaz next to an Italian grandmother.  No need to cast a real one, we'll just fly in Chaz's mom from HoHokus, NJ.   She watched the Sopranos and gets "I-talians", which is good enough.

Chef Chaz pours his boiling water into the Pasta Express.  Cut to the mom who is adding salt to the water to make sure it tastes like the sea, which would apparently flavor the pasta while it cooks.

Chef Chaz points to her and laughs.  Cut to audience of Americans in the studio who laugh. Cue laugh track.

Cut to a cheesy time lapse feature.  You know, like a clock hand moving two minutes faster, etc.

Chez Chaz:  "That's it.  The Pasta Express pasta is done.  Now watch this.  All I do is strain it from the tube.  No strainer.  No picking up pots!".  Cut to Italians who looked bored.

Cut to grandma, who is pouring the pasta in a strainer in a sink.  We need her to fall while straining this pasta.   A full wipe out.  This demonstrates that people cannot pour pasta from a pot into a strainer and thus the full benefits of cooking pasta in a tube.

Cut to American audience in the studio gasping. Cue gasp track.

Chef Chaz now has two plates of pasta in front of five people sitting at tables in the demo booth. There are crowds of Italians around, staring in bewilderment and contempt. 

Chef Chaz: "Now, we will taste test the Pasta Express pasta compared with grandma's old fashioned pasta with REAL I-talians as the judges.  These are not stunt doubles or actors.  These are real I-talians that we plucked out of McDonald's here in Florence to do this taste test. So which do you like better?"

Taster #1 (we will try and cast Scott Baio for this part, since Americans think he is a real Italian).  "I like this soggy one better. MMM."

Taster #2 (most likely a Chinese person as the marketing team says this product has potential in China. I know, I know, supposed to be real Italians. But whatever, that's the magic of this medium). "I think al dente is overrated here in Italy.  Mi familia likes it poached, dude.  I mean, amigo.  Or whatever".

Cut to an exuberant Italian man in the crowd, yelling passionately in broken English: "Pasta expands - no water is gummy.  Pasta needs water boiling." 

Cut to Chef Chaz, who laughs.  Cut to studio crowd in America.  Cue laugh track.

Cut to professional Infomercial VO:

"That's right, America.  Italians don't know pasta.  Think about taking that pot out from the rack.  What a nightmare.   Throw your strainers away!  Al dente is for special nights - Pasta Express is for all the other times!  Pasta Express will soon be used in your favorite Italian restaurants like Olive Garden.  And now, it can be all yours for only $19.99.  Stop boiling pasta and using pots! Al dente is for Italians. Poaching pasta is for Americans! Call now!"

Merguez and Chanterelles with Mushroom Reduction

I used to be obsessed with Merguez sausage and fries when I lived downtown next to Les Halles restaurant in NYC.  This was a favorite standby meal that I used to crave and could only really imagine eating there.

The lamb sausage, thin and rope-like in appearance, had a deep, gamey flavor with hits of spiced heat, thanks to the harissa chili paste they mix into the sausage. 

After moving away from Les Halles and finding a good source for fresh Merguez around the corner from my new home, I have been cooking with Merguez for years.  I use it to finish soup very frequently, but on a random visit to the market a while back, I decided to pair it with hen of the woods mushrooms.  I loved the combination of the merguez with mushrooms, so I tried the sausage with chanterelles.  I sauteed the chanterelles in butter and rosemary, picking up the brown bits from the pan that had previously seared the Merguez.  I had some mushroom stock on hand and reduced it to a thick reduction, which I spooned around the dish for a sauce.   What a perfect appetizer for a cold winter night! If you didn't want to use mushroom stock, just drizzle some olive or truffle oil on the dish with some lemon juice.  Croutons or even a nut for texture would be a nice addition.  Simple and easy to prepare, but rich and deep in flavor.