ILSL Monthly Recipe: Spicy Lime-Aid Ceviche

Yes folks, here it is.  The first ever I Loathe Sandra Lee Monthly Recipe
kicks off today with a wimper. 

Apparently, I am alone in my loathing of Sandra Lee.  (Or the thousands of people who have clicked on the link are not interested in cooking. Great - this website is worthless). 

No worries lazy and quite loathers, I will march on with my mission of creating a forum to publicy protest the Semi-Human disaster that occurs on the Food Network each and every day.

As you may recall, the March recipe from the Sandra Lee calendar is for a sherry glazed cake and a lime-aid beverage.  I have decided to undo her 70% semi homemade, 30% creativity formula by using her lime-aid recipe as inspiration.   So the 0% semi-homemade means...holy shit Sandra....I am going to use REAL LIMES.  Not bogus processed juice from concentrate.  I even flick Sandra the finger by using lime rinds.  That's right, Sandra, limes have a skin.  They are green. They taste... like a lime! Gasp.  You should go out and buy a lime one day and check it out.

In my search to become 100% creative, I started to think about how great the sweet and sour lime juice would be with fish.   In fact, I thought it would be even better as a ceviche.  The citrus would be balanced with sweetness (a bit of sugar) but also a touch of spiciness (a pinch of cayenne) to create an interesting combination of flavors. 

I thought this spicy lime-aid would be balanced with dried cranberries, cool and creamy avocado, toasted sesame seeds, crunchy and fresh jicama and sushi grade tuna and salmon. I loved the mix of fresh tuna and salmon in this dish- the textures and tastes are different enough to be interesting yet they also compliment each other well.

My recipe for Tuna and Salmon Spicy Lime-Aid Ceviche follows.  Thanks for the inspiriation, Sandy.  Till next month, when I hope to get more loathers on board....

Serves 2.

1/4 cup lime juice
1/4 cup orange juice
5 tablespoons sugar
zest of 1 lime, chopped
kosher salt
pinch of chopped fresh chervl (you can use mint)
pinch cayenne pepper
handful of diced jicama
1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds
handful of dried cranberries
3-4 ounces of fresh sushi grade tuna, sliced into cubes
3-4 ounces of fresh sushi grade wild salmon, sliced into cubes

Mix the orange juice, lime juice, chervl, cayenne and a pinch of kosher salt in a container. Place in fridge along with your serving vessels for optimal chill.  When ready to serve, add the tuna, salmon, jicama, cranberries into the serving vessel. It's important to have a good amount of each ingredient evenly distributed throughout the dish.  Spoon in liquid, about 3/4 way covering the ingredients.  Garnish with a sprinkle of salt and the toasted sesame seeds and serve right away.

Comments

[ann]

i discovered your awesome hating of sandra lee too late to join in on the fun, but oh yes, just you wait, i'll be there with you next month
did you know, just to make SL seem more hateful, that her husband is the CEO of mega-real estate mcMansion purveyors of craptitude, KB Homes?

[mike]

semi-human. love it.

[Del]

You are not alone in your loathing. Come click on my name and visit us, we have legions who loathe her. Just register, drop me an email, and I'll approve you.

[Rachel]

I was amazed to learn that this woman was trained at Le Cordon Bleu! How does this happen? I mean, have you guys seen her "Kwanzaa Cake"? Look it up on the food network site if you get a chance. So tragic....

[route23]

I just found your blog and LOVE it. I cannot stand Sandra Lee. I dislike her show as much as Ms. Ray's.

[joe]

hey guys, thanks for the notes. regarding the le cordon bleu, rachel, i saw this comments (scroll down) on this link that is even more shocking. she went to le cordon bleu but apparently dropped out after two weeks, yet plays it off as is she graduated? she makes me want to barf.

http://www.online-sweepstakes.com/forums/showthread.php?t=356912&page=37&pp=15

[Mike and Nikki]

Joe -

So glad you loved the calendar we sent you and even better that it inspired an entire kick-off challenge. Always thinking of you -

love ya
mike and nikki

[sam]

I would love to take part at some time, I am more than busy to june, but if you are doing it then?

I put it in thhe food blog scool calendar, i will try and put the next one there too.

I was so uninspired by the recipes this time round, and i didnt have time to go shopping.

[joe]

hahaha. mike, nicole, you guys are too funny. should have known it was you. thanks for the laughs.

hi sam, thanks for posting on food blog scool. i aspire to do this indefinitely, if only bc it gets me to write recipes...i need all the motivation i can get. plus, i loathe sandra lee and assume that will continue....

[Anna]

OK, I am laughing my ass off from your site. I loathe Sandra Lee's recipes. They suck beyond belief - as does her "table scapes". Such tacky shi*. Who would put such crap in their house. I love how she has a color coordinated Kitchen Aid mixer and never uses it! Too funny. She is the queen of Cool Whip. Not to mention her very obvious new boob job and her nasal voice from her nose job. Take off the makeup and I'm sure she will scare the crap out of all of us. At least with Lidia - she might not be a beauty, but she can cook!

[gypsy]

I confess, I didn't check back soon enough. Maybe in May I'll be ready to contribute. In the meantime, may I advertise Live Journal's "Semihomemadesux" community? (http://community.livejournal.com/semihomemadesux/) Sorry for grabbing free publicity. I've bumped your bookmark up to the top and will be back in a few days.

[Jennifer Iannolo]

Wow. I think I love you. This mirrors my own rants on the subject, but you have taken it to a whole new level. :)

[Helen, first aid kit]

That's awersome! i love it.

[Helen, first aid kit]

That's awersome! i love it.
http://www.test-mall.com/first-aid/

[Sherri]

Sandra Lee is the worst. How do you end up making Betty Crocker with fresh raspberries on Food Network and becoming famous ? I am definitely going to try your tartare....check mine out too !

[Jeanne]

Laughing uproarusly to your comments on Sandra Lee... I couldn't agree more that this unfortunate show pulls out every tool in hell's toolbox. From the god-awful opening music, to our loathsome Chef-con-Barbie hostess replete with set-matching wardrobe, to the god-awful processed plastic crap that she passes off as "yummy." The show manages to assault viewers senses on so many fronts; even my 9 year old cannot stand the vibes that this woman gives out and consistently asks to turn. Smart kid- does FoodNetwork have a clue? I can't seem to find a feedback forum on their site to save my life...

[Lindsey]

I have to agree with you here. Sandra Lee is almost as bad as Rachel Ray. I cannot stand their half-assed way of cooking. Why use cool whip which tastes like shit when in 30 seconds you can have creamy, wonderful whipped cream. They are both geared towards people who don't know much in the way of real cooking, and people who have 10-15 minutes to make dinner. If I have that little time, I'll order takeout rather than make one of their recipes.

Being a caterer, I detest getting requests for recipes from them...and it's happened more than once. I recently recieved a request for some hot dog dish that Rachel Ray had made at one point. Drove me nuts.

I love foodnet, I listen to it a lot. I think the general idea behind it is great...but the execution leaves something to be desired.

-LS

[EW]

i just googled "sadra lee, boob job" to prove to my friends that she didn't always have those knockers and i found this blog. hilarious! food porn is my secret obsession. i am watching throwdown with bobby flay as i write this.

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[sascha]

i was just watching semi-homemade and noticed that her knockers were surprisingly larger than i'd ever noticed, so i googled "sandra lee boob job" (as i see another of your blog fans did) and VOILA - here i am! as for loathing the woman, i find her too entertaining. she's a freaking riot! i love watching her open a can of cherries, dump them into a frozen pie crust, then douse this "semi-homemade" pie with cool whip. i love her as only a gay man can (even if i am a straight woman). she's not as "food porn" satisfying to watch as, say, ina baking up insanely drool-inducing tarts, but i have to say i enjoy her on a completely different (dare i say ironic?) level.

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