Best and Worst Food Shows of 2005

I watch a decent amount of food related TV.  Not an obsessive compulsive amount, but probably more than most. I find it oddly attractive, mainly because I find most of it so nauseating.

In fact, I can count the quality, informative and entertaining food shows on one hand.  Why is this? Why can't networks and production companies crack the food tv code?  Some are informative but boring as all hell.   Many feel contrived and recycle the same theme of "My friends are coming over and I want to make something simple yet fantastic!".  They remind me of the Gourmet and Bon Appetit features of smiling, happy guests, clinking glasses and laughing hysterically over a perfectly manicured dish of something simple yet not too complicated.  The cook, in a perfect Williams-Sonoma apron, prepares food in a yuppy suburban kitchen with amazing soft, natural light, smiling and laughing, as if this was the only thing they were doing for the entire day.  Why is this the stereotype that food network people think we all want to see? Am I the only one that finds this so cliche?

So here you go, nameless, faceless internet.  My list of the best and worst of food TV for 2005.

Worst.  Shows.  Ever.

Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee.  I cannot sum up how shitty this show is any better than this post.  The concept is beyond awful - this show should be called "Half-Assing It", "No One will Know You Can't Cook" and "I Spent More Money and Just As Much Time to Make Food that Sucks".  The crap she makes is actually what I avoid eating on virtually any occasion.  Listening to her talk about serving fun, yummy treats can be used as a form of torture for any food loving person.  Who makes the decision to air this show? Are they mentally challenged?

Taste of America.  I have discussed this debacle on this site already.  Hey -  food programming director of the Travel Channel.  Here's a news flash.  If you were to cast someone as the host of a light hearted show, this person would actually need to be funny, interesting and engaging.  Wow - I just had a great idea.   If it's a food show, maybe the person might have some food experience so they could, you know, talk about food and stuff.  No joke, this show will leave your brain in neutral for about 3 days.  Avoid at all costs.

Anything Paula Deen.  Paula seems like a nice person and she does have a ton of personality, which is all positive.  My issue with her shows are pretty simple to articulate.  Her voice has the same effect on my stomach as a raw oyster gone sour.   Second, and more to the point, her food has got to be the most unhealthy shit one could ever hope to eat in one sitting.  Eat this food a few times a week and watch yourself expand into multiple forms of yourself.  Think butter, cream, cheese, lard, Crisco, fried meat all in the same dish.  This post sums it all up.

$40 a Day.  I will not waste my time or yours debating whether Rachel Ray is annoying or not.  But how the hell is a show about spending $40 a day while on vacation a good idea? Who the hell goes on vacation in order to find a restaurant with the cheapest entrees and not order a freaking glass of wine or beer with dinner?  Fucking save up for a few weeks so you can tip people more than a dollar at a restaurant.  This show is my idea of what a vacation to hell would be like.  Great idea, guys.

Passable and Fixable

Everyday Italian with Giada DeLaurentis.  The food suggestions here are relatively thoughtful and good for the everyday home cook, most look pretty tasty.  I find Giada mesmerizing to look at - her large head has been well documented and she has an amazing cleavage stylist.  Nice work, guys. 

Barefoot Contessa.  Makes some pretty good suggestions for entertaining and home cooking.  I like the close in shots of the food while she is preparing it - stylishly done but also helpful to actually see what is happening to what she is preparing.  She does a good job at talking through her dishes and is generally interesting enough.

The part that needs fixing for these shows is the above rant I make about fake, cliched scenarios of friends coming over, happy hostess serving them, fun laughing banter while eating.   Stop! I know that's what the focus groups tell you what people want, but it's such a generic formula that plays like a broken record over the entire food network.  Michael Chiarello's show is exactly the SAME SHOW AS THE ABOVE TWO but just a different host, yet the food network makes sure the cliche is extended for maximum viewer enjoyment in back to back to back epsiodes. Earth to Food Network.  Think of a new cliched theme to these shows, quick. Or just make it stop!

Good Stuff

I will not suggest the below shows are must see TV.   They are the least offensive of the bunch and all have exceedingly positive qualities.   They are not perfect and questionably interesting for non-food geeks, but this site is for food geeks, so....

Good Eats. Do everything Alton Brown says. Thank him for his uncliched approach to cooking tv.  The guy is passionate, articulate, nerdy and interesting.  His scientific approach can alienate the less intense cooks in the home, but whatever. 

Anything Iron Chef.  You know how I feel about Iron Chef proper and Iron Chef America.  Iron Chef proper is the best food show ever created.  IC America is pretty entertaining if not lacking in many areas that I've articulated on the site in detail.   This is Tivo material for me.

Simply Ming.   Why did Food Network ditch the Minger? Who the hell would think that this dude wouldn't be better than Sandra Lee on their network? Why do people eat fried meat with Crisco, butter and lard in the same dish? I don't know.  Simply Ming is a great show.   Ming makes a master recipe, say a sauce or condiment and shows you how to use it in multiple dishes within the show.  Great idea.  He brings on a well known chef who then does something entirely different with the master recipe.   Track it down on PBS and Tivo it.

Anything Lydia Bastianich.  I love this woman as does everyone else with a pulse.  Proof that the Food Network has no idea what they are doing, she has grown to be a superstar from her awesome PBS shows.  No cliches here.  Lydia makes everything real time in the kitchen of her real home.  No bullshit parties with fake people coming over.  Sometimes her family pops in to eat and help, but they are real, unscripted people and they aren't presented within the fake Bon Appetite or Gourmet scenarios.   

Comments

[Rob]

Sandra Lee most definately has that slut thing going on for her now that she's got new boobs .... of course I love it!!!!!!

[M.]

How about getting together a petition to get rid of Giada DeLaurentis aka Catwoman on the Food Network??

What a fake, I bet she has fangs underneath those pearly whites! Not surprised she has her own show, can only guess how she got it. What's that old saying...it's not who you know it's who you....

While I'm at it, Alton Brown has got to go too! Weirdo. Bet he plays with little kids, especially little boys.

[Shazzer Cooks]

I like this blog, thank God there are articulate, thinking people out there who can express the pitfalls of the food network chefs. As a women, I do not have the same bias toward Giada DiLaurentis meaning her clevage doesn't make up for odd, bland tasting dishes. I've tried several of her recipes, and the bottom line is: she looks better than she cooks. I found them to stray from classic Italian, (I know that's her point) but not in a good way. You can do every day classic Italian with far better authentic tasting recipes that are just as simple. Check out Classic Italian Cooking by Marcella Hazan.

[perv]

id titty fuck sandra lee till she made me a burger,then blow my load on giada's pearly whites.

[shazzer cooks]

The Dumbing Down of America - - Rachael Ray.
When will this horrific phenonema go away? It's depressing to think that someone so obnoxios and crude can make a living at it. I've read recently that Anthony Bourdain defended her stating that if she gets people off of fast food and into cooking that's a good thing? Could he have really said this? Are the masses really this stupid?

[Jack Squat]

I was going to say I like Sandra Lee and Giada as people, but that burger and load shot on Giada's face, sort of made me forget about it.

[cayro]

Rachael Ray's habit of talking with her hands is most annoying! Her fake little giggle comes in second.

[sonia]

very true. i thought i was the only one that thought giada had a big head!

[Angela Vincent]

I think Paula Deen and Rachel Ray are both over-exposed and are both ruining their own careers by being everywhere all the time. Can't stand that southern accent and that constant yall and especially get turned off by Paula stuffing her mouth and then talking with her mouth full. Yuk! What more can one say about Rachel Ray - annoying and built funny and too much EVOO.

[Frank]

Rachel Ray needs to wear jeans that fit. I wonder if she rubs EVOO all over her legs to make it easier to put those jeans on.Thats extra virgin olive oil.

[edava]

people, people, it's not the head, it's the RECEDING Hair Line! Poor Giada! Ditto for Rachel Ray-what is up with turning into a goofy Martha Stewart, now a t.v. show and magazine? I just want to shoot her! The only reason I got cable was of Sarah Moulton a few years back and then they axed her. The only thing left to watch is Alton Brown, and even he is slowly disappearing.

[sofia]

My friend called me last night during the Paula Deen Party Show and we literally were laughing through the whole thing. I have never seen such a stupid, silly show about absolutely nothing. Her husband has the vocabulary of a cave man and that gushy crap is wearing thin. The whole show seemed contrived and rehearsed and she is just plain silly and hard to take. She must also be stupid because she kept squirting butter on the oysters on the grill and then acting surprised when the fire and flames started coming up and then just happened to have a little bowl of baking soda next to it. then she did the same thing two or three times and acted surprised. God, I give this one a short shelf life. Oh, by the way, Paula, if you're gonna wear a wig, at least get a decent one that doesn't sit on your head like a helmet.

[Frank]

I tried one of Sandra Lee's. check this out.
I just drove to my local supermarket and parked in a lovely parking spot. Then I went into the beautiful frozen section and carefully hand picked a sarah Lee frozen cake.I then drove back home with my delicious cake. I then went into my room where food is prepared, I think its called a kitchen. I carefully removed my new cake from the box and placed it on a lovely glass plate that I bought at local garage sale. And now for the final step that will amaze your friends and trick them into thinking you spent all day on this master piece, I simply open a container of store bought whip topping and spread it over the top. God damn Sandra, your a fucking genious. Food Network just doesnt pay you enough for these incredible master pieces you turn out.

[Jamie]

Couldn't agree more. Sandra Lee is a useless lush. Everytime she says "yummy" and "soo delicious" and invites her niece "Miss Stephanie" over, I want to vomit on my television. Barefoot Contessa's recipes almost always pull through for me. Michael Chiarello constantly sounds like he is constipated.

[Craig]

Is it me or does the Travel Channel now have better food related programs than Food Network? I think the Food Network has lost their way with the plethora of "reality shows" and "over exposed hacks that could not hold a candle to my Italian mother's homegrown and traditional cooking techniques". The Food Network used to be pretty good but it has become very unwatchable this past year.

[Petie]

I WAS SURPRISED AT THE ICA SHOW WHERE FLAY/DELAURENTIS LOST TO BATALI/RAY. I LIKE MARIO'S COOKING AND THOUGHT HE "CARRIED" RR FOR THE VICTORY. I THINK BOBBY WAS A LITTLE "PUT OUT" BY GIADA'S ANTICS. SHE JUMPED UP AND DOWN BECAUSE THE WATER DIDN'T BOIL QUICK ENOUGH AND ZEROED IN TOO MUCH "POSING" FOR CAMERA CLOSE UPS INSTEAD OF REALLY CONCENTRATING ON THE COOKING - WHILE BOBBY, MARIO AND RACHEL WERE SWEATING UP A STORM. I'M NOT SURE IF RAY/BATALI WON ON A "SYMPATHY" VOTE - AND I DON'T MEAN MARIO. I THINK HE IS VERY TALENTED

[throwback]

I cannott stand the show "Sara's Secrets" ugh- Sara Moulton's voice annoys me so bad. I agree with many opinions on Sandra Lee aka Alcoholic/Fake Boobs, her show is supposed to teach us what...??? And can someone get her a damn bra that FITS!?
As for Rachel Ray-oddly enough she doesn't annoy me. I grew up in the same area as her and met her back in 2004 when she came "home" to do a cooking "class" at her high school alma mater. She was bubbly as always but seemed waaaay more relaxed. Honestly I think she exagerrates her perky-ness on her show(s) for appeal to those who dig that sort of thing. She does seem semi laid back though. I think Mario Batali is an incredible chef and his show is pleasant. Bobby Flay has grown on me lately, I'm not quite sure why... Michael Chiarello always seems like he just popped a vicotin, or maybe he has indigestion? Oh and if Emeril says "Bam!!" one more time ill die.

[Robert]

I have read all of the comments above. I must say: what a bunch of sick disgusting comments about some nice people who have been successful in sharing their ideas about food and cooking. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. Get a life and stop being jealous and mean spirited about decent people trying to make a living at what they love. If you think you can do better, lets look at your cooking show and see if it stands up to our scrutiny.

[KookyLady]

Most of the comments are pretty right on, but ya'll are probably a little jealous of all the faves on the foodie network.......think about it....for all the negativity you guys are spewing, you could be whippin' up some tasty treats, film yourself whackin' out those goodies to try to get your own show......nuf said

[Olivia]

The person named Sophia using Gods name in vane, better watch out for a lighting strike!! That is the lowest thing anyone can say!!!! You need to repent and ask God for forgiveness!!!!!!!! And all the haters on here need to quit!!!! You all are just jealous that you are not in these people's position and making the money they are making!!!! Most of you probably have over grown heads and weigh over 200 pounds!!! How you like those apples!!!!!!

[Olivia]

I apologize to Sophia she did not make the vane comment using Gods name it was Frank who made this comment. So Frank you need to watch out for the lightning strike and ask God for forgiveness for your rude comment!!!!!

[ian]

Sandra Lee is heinous and I have to agree with all the comments about her. Who did she sleep with to get this job?

I must say though, as a Southerner myself, please do not heed Paula Deen. I know many think her food is simply Southern comfort food, but it is not. Her food is middle-class trashy food. She cooks a few dishes that are authentically "Southern" but most of her dishes are cheap, subpar takes on country cooking. I grew up in the South, my grandmother was country and a cooking fiend, and I rarely tasted a dish with mayo in it. Which seems to be Paula's favorite ingredient. UGH!!

Bobby Flay is a pretentious prick, I cannot stand him. I also find his Challenge shows (whatever they're called) kind of insulting as he has a whole team of chefs helping him devise a recipe that is judged by someone the food network picks. Yeah, seems fair.

I'm surprised no one's mentioned Nigella, am I the only one who loves her??

[Robert]

Boy, Olivia, you must be a very sad and unhappy person to have such hatred in your heart for people. Usually, when people criticize others like this, it is usually a mirror of what they are themselves or what they feel about themselves. So, you must be the one who is heinoss and white trash. Are you? You so are pitifull. I feel sorry for you. This world would be a lot better place without those who subscribe to feelings that come from the same source as racists, terrorists, and criminals.

[ian]

I suppose, Robert, you are referring to my comments? Or possibly confusing my comments with Olivia's rants on God's wrath? I wonder which because I would love to know how my comments on Paula Deen's cooking have anything to do with race, terrorism or crime?

[Candise]

I must say that after reading ALL of the comments, that I'm amazed at what little respect for others some of you have. I love the Food Network, and I watch it everyday. I assume I could say the same for most of you and if I can't then I think you need to take back what you said until you've paid more attention. These people are human, just like you. They go to work every day selling their product to make a living. So what Giada has a big head, and so what Paula's food is fattening, I'm sure some of you guys have big heads, and I bet most of you eat fast food, talk about fattening! I think it's unfair of you to spend all this time focusing on the flaws of others instead of really watching the shows and seeing what each of them have to offer in their own special way. It's absolutely astonishing to see that most of you have such interest in the more boring shows, and Im even more flabergasted at the fact that you compare other PBS and lower quality networks to the FOOD NETWORK! We may have a right to feel and say as we please, but when you repetitively bash these people about thier job, culture, personality, amongst many other horrible things you go too far. I don't imagine you'd like me to bash you guys' dreams online!?! Get a grip, if you don't like it don't watch it, please stop wasteing your time with all these petty comments!

[Robert]

I apologize to you, Olivia. My comments were meant for Ian. I noticed the "Posted By" is on the end and not the top of the note. I am just frustrated by all the bashing going on for no reason.

[Robert]

Great note, Candise. Well said. I agree with you 100 %. :)

[Candise]

After I made my comment the other day, I went back to my usual ritual of watching Food Network everyday, and noticed another thing that bothered my about what you guys said. You act like these people have no other responsibilities but these shows, and you are totally wrong. We sit on our butts watching the shows, and visiting these web sites, where most of them don't even enjoy the luxury of sitting down 10% of the day. These people work hard to get where they are, and were work nothing but the remote and our mouth! It's rediculous. Why don't we refocus this site to giving constructive criticism, and give these guys some credit! Until next time!

[joe]

there will be no refocusing of this site, candise. sorry. i'll write whatever the hell is on my mind, the positive and the negative. feel free to start your own blog and do the same. i could care less if sandra lee 'tries hard' and will give her zero credit for anything related to her show...it is freaking awful. in fact, it's almost embarassing to devote so much time to something that is so disgraceful.

[Denise]

Ina is the Best ever! Sandra Lee SUCKS! I'm not a good cook but watching these shows gives me many ideas. I also agree, why in gods name was Ming taken off and Sandra Lee put on? She is simply, simply horrible. Whats with this "Tablescape" CRAP! She spends more $ on fixing the friggin table. Take her off.. take her off... take her off.

[Caliboy]

"Who the hell goes on vacation in order to find a restaurant with the cheapest entrees and not order a freaking glass of wine or beer with dinner?"

That would be me, poor grad student here. Some of just don't have the income and appreciate a few tips to get decent, reasonably-priced food when we're on the road.

I actually agree with most of what Joe says on this entry, yet $40 a day remains one of my favorite shows. I particularly like that she emphasizes going for ethnic options in many cities, which often offer excellent food at great prices. But I guess I'm more of a "Chowhound" than a foodie.

Don't hate me because I'm broke.

[sallibeans]

i have to agree with most of you about the food network...there was a comment a while back about jeff smith and other classic tv cooking shows. they were much better, more focused..
in defense to the food network, nigella is a refreshing addition- i feel like she makes real food thats not insanely complicated, and she does have a unique on-screen presence

[LeenyDeeny]

EVOO*EVOO*EVOO*EVOO
run a knife through it
grandpa emanuel's everyday vinegar
yummo
dee lish
grab a mopeen
secret ingredient that makes everyone go hmm
garbage bowl
back in the day
going on in there
let this hang out
whatever floats your boat
how good is that

It's in her contract. She has to say these things in every episode.

[Mccryan]

I laughed my way through these posts because a lot of my feelings were reflected all the way through.

Here goes:

Sandra Lee bores the hell out of me. I literally cannot sit more than 30 seconds at a time watching her. She has no substance. My husband calls her low riders and I laugh at the ridiculous use of vanilla extract to cut the package taste of cool whip so that no one will know its cool whip. Trust me, we all know its cool whip.

Giada did not start out with her boobs hanging out. The low cut tops came later. I can only imagine that she needed a ratings boost. One of these days she will be preparing chicken cutlets and she will accidentally pick up her boob and dredge it in flour.

$40 a day is actually a joke. It is completely unrealistic and if I worked as waitstaff and saw her coming I would have an issue with her complete disregard of the tipping system. Also, her 30 minute meals only take 30 minutes if you have a crew doing the prep, setup and cleanup. Give me a break.

Paula has a good personality and seems like a very nice lady. However, when Paula drops dead of a massive heart attack from years of sickeningly unhealthy eating who will be the first to say I told ya'll so?

Ina has talent and can cook. She needs to lose weight plain and simple. The tired old "how bad can that be" line has one answer in terms of her waistline, It be bad, Ina. Luckily for her she can afford those expensively tailored slacks and blouses because if she had to buy discount, she would look even heavier on camera.

Absolutely love Alton. He is the best of the best as far as I am concerned. I also really like Sara Moulton. She was straightforward and down to earth and she could really cook.

[RF]

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY ABOUT SANDRA LEE AND SEMI-HOMEMADE. THE FOOD IS ALMOST MORE FAKE THAN HER BOOBS. GOD SHE'S AWFUL, AND SHE HAS NO REAL GUSTO/PASSION LIKE PAULA DEAN, GIADA OR RACHEL RAY. BUT THEN AGAIN I GUESS IT'S HARD TO GET PASSIONATE ABOUT THE GARBAGE SHE WHIPS UP. I WATCH FOODTV A LOT AND WHEN SHE COMES ON IT'S THE ONLY TIME I CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

YES I LIKE GIADA BUT ALWAYS THOUGHT HER HEAD WAS OUT OF PROPORTION TO HER SMALL FRAME, JUST EXACTLY LIKE NANCY REAGAN.

ALTON BROWN IS THE GREATEST. HE TRICKS YOU INTO LEARNING BY BEING ENTERTAINING. HE HAS VERY CREATIVE WAYS OF DEMONSTRATING COOKING THEORIES AND FOOD CHEMISTRY. YOU REALLY DO LEARN SOME GOOD PRACTICAL STUFF FROM ALTON. HE IS A GENIUS AND HIS SHOW IS TOTALLY UNIQUE.

[Jeffery Margett]

I think that what you said is very rude, especially how u put down rachael ray.
SHE IS AWESOME SO SHUT THE F%#K UP :)
its people like you who hurt peoples feelings

[tdard]

To the above post.
Rachel Raye knows nothing about food.
She is annoying to listen to and her sandpaper voice irritates.
Other comments:
Contessa - forget it.
Giada - passable but no food genius.
Dave - boring - like Contessa he appeals to a certain ethnic group.
Paula - at home not bad although very sugar and fat Southern. New show appaling.
Her sons - what makes them savants?
Contest shows - please - appeals only to six packers on the couch.
Food on the Road Shows - same as above.
Alton Brown - one of the only shows worth watching - while he may not actually cook, his gives good information.
Overall- food network is progressively worse.
Who watched them? Have they ever seen Julia Child or Lidia Bastianich or people who actually know something about food?

[pablo marques]

Bobby Flay is an outstanding chef, but his shows have lost me. I use his cook books, eat at his restaurants [I've had 2 Thanksgiving dinners at Mesa Grill to die for], but his shows teach me little new any longer.

Michael Chiarello is my wife and my new favorite. I look for someone who makes me want to eat what he cooks, makes me think I can do it without extreme effort and without buying 22 ingredients, I can do it for company without being exhausted when they arrive, they're impressed with the food and presentation, and I think the chef actually can cook what he's showing me. He delivers on all points.

I don't much care if he has a big head, ambiguous sexuality, fake boobs, or a concave butt. Too many of you are just gossips who need to get a life.

[tasha]

This blog is hilarious! I'm glad I found it because I had given up on the food network a long time ago and was wondering if anyone else shared my disgust. The comments about Sandra and Giada are cruel but quite refreshing. Someone asked if Rachel Ray's father owned the network. My husband and I have joked about that for years. Now she's everywhere (including on cracker boxes). One thing no one has touched on here is the blatant lack of diversity on this channel. I LOVE Italian food, but this network has too much of it. There are many other cuisines out there and it would be nice to have those featured, as well as chefs that reflect that diversity. Ming was a good example, but they canned him. A few years ago they had a Latino cooking show but that was also canned. Evolve already!

[Ali]

I can't believe I just found this blog! As a big-time foodie and fellow food-network hater, I think I've found my new favorite fun site....

So glad others out there feel the same way I do about most of these hosts...I don't think I've ever seen such criticism of the heretofore untouchable Giada, I thought I was the only one!

Cleary, if you have a successful show on the Food Network, you need to seriously consider going back to culinary school. Because your food probably sucks. (Alton exculded.)

[helen]

Would it matter what any of these foodnetwork "stars" looked like if their recipes had merit? True some of them do have annoying habits and repeat over and over the same trite expressions but they must be receiving lots of fan mail that validates their style. none of them would be on the air if they didn't have a following. Ratings do count, even if dad owns all the networks!

[Jayne]

Giada is a sin against nature. Her cooking is terrible and she uses the same ingrediants over and over and over again. How many times can you use motzorella cheese? And does anyone remember her left over special? She put a fryed egg ontop of your left over pasta, and mixed meat loaf with red sauce. Giada is like one of those girls you find in the cheerleader cliche. She needs to get curb stomped ASAP.

[Dina]

Hi --

Have to say the same about this delightful, and yes, insightful blog. I love that its here.

Sandra Lee should be flogged. My five year old knows already that she sucks and opening cans and jars does not constitute cooking to anyone! However, I have to say that as of late I have become OBSESSED with Ina!!! First of all, I love the sycophants that suck up to her in each show -- especially the florist and her "staff!" I love her canned laughter, her fun themes (especially the Truman Capote Black and White Party -- OMG!!) and the way she nearly force feeds her food to each and every one of her guests, prodding them along to eat faster and faster -- only to devour her sinfully luscious and fatttening desserts in time for the half hour to be up. I can't stop wathcing -- its a problem.

[Kris]

I want to know if Sandra Lee has implants, she flonts them around like a whore. Once she looked like a blow up doll at a baseball show in brades. I think she is belitting when she constantly says "I want you to" and then "I want you to" and then "I want you to", well lady, I don't want to. Her tips are not original either.

[Barb]

Can't stand Sandra Lee's way of overpronoucing her L's.....Llllllellllow, lllemon, lllllamb. Also her GR's...grrreat. Every single time. She hurts my ears.

[Annie]

Anyone worth their salt as a genuine foodie has to watch Charlie Trotter's "Kitchen Sessions" on CREATE TV. The man is a genius-- not only an amazing chef but the smartest, most articulate man I've ever seen in a kitchen.

[Rady]

While I can tolerate almost everyone on the Food Network, the television must be turned off when Giada appears.

"MU-ZA-REEEEEEEEEEEEEE-LA", "BEEEE-SCOOOOOOOOOO-TEEEE", "SPA-GEEEEEEEEE-TEEEE"...come on! She's as Italian as I am. Yes, born in Italy, but living in the USA her entire life. Why is it that the only accent she has is when she pronounces Italian food?

Her phony smile (does anyone have more teeth?) and her fake hand and arm gestures are annoying. Her low-cut tops only show how much her breasts are sagging...not attractive, and her large head is too much to bear!

I know two people who have heads larger than normal for their bodies, and both of them had eating disorders for many years. It's quite obvious on her shows that she takes a bite of food and then the shot cuts (while she spits the food into a bucket on the floor). While I have seen her swallow veggies, everything else goes into the bucket.

I have a friend who saw her shopping one day. Apparently, she is even more unattractive in person…if you can believe that’s possible. Someone should have a chat with the Food Network.

[ocv]

How did I find this blog? I was watching the insipid Sandra Lee & was repulsed by her oh so obvious visits to the local plastic surgeon, that I had to verify that my observations were correct, and if these posts are anything to go by, I think that’s a big ten-four. Seriously, if you manage to catch a really earlier episode of Semi-Home Made, she looks sooooo different to now, crows feet & all – hilarious.

I love that you all love Alton – he is awesome, a true genius.
Emeril: I agree Essence is best, I HATE DOC GIBBS. Funny, when I first saw Em I was turned off he came of as a wife-beater… but I grew to like him.
Giada – oh so funny, I thought I was the only one freaked out by her huge head – her hair reminds me of a soufflé – all poofed up.
Racheal –dude take a step back, talk about being over-exposed! Who the fuck cares about what your opinion is, put it in reverse and go back to what you do best: 30 min meals baby. Every time I hear your voice on the TV I scream out “shut up you crazy bitch!!!!!!!”
Michael Chiarello – lol, I loved the comment about him being confused about his sexuality, when I saw a ring on his finger, I did a double take. Ha, ha. To his credit, I have made several of his recipes and have had great success. He is a bit anal tho (ha ha ha), I can imagine him swiffering his kitchen studio floor between breaks screaming “out damn spot!”
Mario – love love. Remember the shows he did with his sidekick friend in Italy – kind of a ‘Two Fat Ladies’ spin, ooooh, which reminds me, have any of you seen that show, aired on PBS – GREAT show! Anyway, they need to do more of those shows, Mario was awesome in that, he is so unpretentious and real.
Nigella – I love her, but she comes across as very sexualized on the show… did you all know that she is a widow?
Sara Moulton – seriously she needs to kick it up a notch…. She has some serious repression issues --- let it out girl!
Ok, I’ve said my piece…. Thanks for all your great posts!

[Gamma]

Giada - I like her cooking style, but her personality drives me crazy. Has anyone seen her early shows. When TV Food did a spot on her (Chefography) everyone was critical of her early shows. Those shows were much, much better than her more recent ones. She was pretty focused on the food, not on acting like a total idiot!!!!

Ina - love the dishes she makes on her show, but I don't think she realizes that there is life outside of the Hamptons. Just cook, Ina, we're not interested in where you shop.

Nigella - Love her.....she is a widow but has since remarried. Same with her, I'm not interested in her kids or friends, just cook.

Love reading all of your posts

[Christie]

I think some of you are too hard on these people without really knowing them. I met Sandra Lee a few years ago and had a chance to talk to her. She is a really nice lady. Very down to earth and very kind and friendly. She is a very smart lady who has done more than many of us could do and she wants to share it. And why shouldn't she enjoy the fruits of her success. I think we all want success and prosperity, but when we see others that have achieved it, we criticize them because we are jealous. We especially seem to not like to see women who are successfull. I think that it is interesting that most of the negative comments are against the women cooking shows. So, lighten up. If you don't like these people's style of cooking, ok. But don't attack their character and appearance. Chances are, you wouldn't measure up to all these critical people's your standards either if you had a cooking show. Could you do better? Do unto others as you would like done to you.