Best and Worst Food Shows of 2005

I watch a decent amount of food related TV.  Not an obsessive compulsive amount, but probably more than most. I find it oddly attractive, mainly because I find most of it so nauseating.

In fact, I can count the quality, informative and entertaining food shows on one hand.  Why is this? Why can't networks and production companies crack the food tv code?  Some are informative but boring as all hell.   Many feel contrived and recycle the same theme of "My friends are coming over and I want to make something simple yet fantastic!".  They remind me of the Gourmet and Bon Appetit features of smiling, happy guests, clinking glasses and laughing hysterically over a perfectly manicured dish of something simple yet not too complicated.  The cook, in a perfect Williams-Sonoma apron, prepares food in a yuppy suburban kitchen with amazing soft, natural light, smiling and laughing, as if this was the only thing they were doing for the entire day.  Why is this the stereotype that food network people think we all want to see? Am I the only one that finds this so cliche?

So here you go, nameless, faceless internet.  My list of the best and worst of food TV for 2005.

Worst.  Shows.  Ever.

Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee.  I cannot sum up how shitty this show is any better than this post.  The concept is beyond awful - this show should be called "Half-Assing It", "No One will Know You Can't Cook" and "I Spent More Money and Just As Much Time to Make Food that Sucks".  The crap she makes is actually what I avoid eating on virtually any occasion.  Listening to her talk about serving fun, yummy treats can be used as a form of torture for any food loving person.  Who makes the decision to air this show? Are they mentally challenged?

Taste of America.  I have discussed this debacle on this site already.  Hey -  food programming director of the Travel Channel.  Here's a news flash.  If you were to cast someone as the host of a light hearted show, this person would actually need to be funny, interesting and engaging.  Wow - I just had a great idea.   If it's a food show, maybe the person might have some food experience so they could, you know, talk about food and stuff.  No joke, this show will leave your brain in neutral for about 3 days.  Avoid at all costs.

Anything Paula Deen.  Paula seems like a nice person and she does have a ton of personality, which is all positive.  My issue with her shows are pretty simple to articulate.  Her voice has the same effect on my stomach as a raw oyster gone sour.   Second, and more to the point, her food has got to be the most unhealthy shit one could ever hope to eat in one sitting.  Eat this food a few times a week and watch yourself expand into multiple forms of yourself.  Think butter, cream, cheese, lard, Crisco, fried meat all in the same dish.  This post sums it all up.

$40 a Day.  I will not waste my time or yours debating whether Rachel Ray is annoying or not.  But how the hell is a show about spending $40 a day while on vacation a good idea? Who the hell goes on vacation in order to find a restaurant with the cheapest entrees and not order a freaking glass of wine or beer with dinner?  Fucking save up for a few weeks so you can tip people more than a dollar at a restaurant.  This show is my idea of what a vacation to hell would be like.  Great idea, guys.

Passable and Fixable

Everyday Italian with Giada DeLaurentis.  The food suggestions here are relatively thoughtful and good for the everyday home cook, most look pretty tasty.  I find Giada mesmerizing to look at - her large head has been well documented and she has an amazing cleavage stylist.  Nice work, guys. 

Barefoot Contessa.  Makes some pretty good suggestions for entertaining and home cooking.  I like the close in shots of the food while she is preparing it - stylishly done but also helpful to actually see what is happening to what she is preparing.  She does a good job at talking through her dishes and is generally interesting enough.

The part that needs fixing for these shows is the above rant I make about fake, cliched scenarios of friends coming over, happy hostess serving them, fun laughing banter while eating.   Stop! I know that's what the focus groups tell you what people want, but it's such a generic formula that plays like a broken record over the entire food network.  Michael Chiarello's show is exactly the SAME SHOW AS THE ABOVE TWO but just a different host, yet the food network makes sure the cliche is extended for maximum viewer enjoyment in back to back to back epsiodes. Earth to Food Network.  Think of a new cliched theme to these shows, quick. Or just make it stop!

Good Stuff

I will not suggest the below shows are must see TV.   They are the least offensive of the bunch and all have exceedingly positive qualities.   They are not perfect and questionably interesting for non-food geeks, but this site is for food geeks, so....

Good Eats. Do everything Alton Brown says. Thank him for his uncliched approach to cooking tv.  The guy is passionate, articulate, nerdy and interesting.  His scientific approach can alienate the less intense cooks in the home, but whatever. 

Anything Iron Chef.  You know how I feel about Iron Chef proper and Iron Chef America.  Iron Chef proper is the best food show ever created.  IC America is pretty entertaining if not lacking in many areas that I've articulated on the site in detail.   This is Tivo material for me.

Simply Ming.   Why did Food Network ditch the Minger? Who the hell would think that this dude wouldn't be better than Sandra Lee on their network? Why do people eat fried meat with Crisco, butter and lard in the same dish? I don't know.  Simply Ming is a great show.   Ming makes a master recipe, say a sauce or condiment and shows you how to use it in multiple dishes within the show.  Great idea.  He brings on a well known chef who then does something entirely different with the master recipe.   Track it down on PBS and Tivo it.

Anything Lydia Bastianich.  I love this woman as does everyone else with a pulse.  Proof that the Food Network has no idea what they are doing, she has grown to be a superstar from her awesome PBS shows.  No cliches here.  Lydia makes everything real time in the kitchen of her real home.  No bullshit parties with fake people coming over.  Sometimes her family pops in to eat and help, but they are real, unscripted people and they aren't presented within the fake Bon Appetite or Gourmet scenarios.   

Comments

[mike]

too funny. totally agree with this, though i find giada totally unwatchable. i also think the kitchen confidential sitcom was pretty good and should not have been canned.

[Kalyn]

Very funny. I was a huge Ming fan. I like Lidia too.

[Jason]

Molto Mario is great too. Although I wish I could make a mess like him while cooking and not worry about cleaning it up.

[joe]

yeah, love molto. wish they would record some more shows, though

[dan3336]

Sandra Lee & Giada could make their shows great by doing them topless. An occasional grease splatter could provide some comedy.
How about Bobby Flay? His shows were pretty good when he was doing Southwestern.

[Adam]

Sandra Lee is a moron. How she has a show is beyond me. On one of the episodes I had the unfortunate luck of viewing, she made "Bloody Beer Marys" -- A Bloody Mary with beer (Bud Light, IIRC) instead of vodka. One bottle of beer was used for four servings of this vile concoction.

Next on my worst list: How to Boil Water. Which now features Tyler Florence which is a step up from the guy they had before. But the "host" is far too annoying. And what became of Tyler's -- IMO, excellent -- "Ultimate" show?

Finally, Giada DeLaurentis has a huge head and her show is over-mic'd, and Rachel Ray is the most annoying person ever born unto this Earth. But I would certainly tune in to Pay-Per-View for DeLaurentis vs. Ray: Olive Oil Wrestling World Championship. Better than anything on Food TV, any day of the week.

Oh, and one other note while I'm here: The Best Of. Mark Silverstein seriously needs to get the axe. Totally unwatchable. But Jill Cordes could certainly compete in that wrestling competition and I would not be one to complain...

[Nicola]

Giada can't possibly eat what she cooks. Or, if she does, she must excuse herself immediately to go throw up. Sandra Lee is horrendous, not only because she spends a freaking fortune to make food and looks and must taste horrible, but also because she needs a freaking bra that fits right... or one at all. I think Mario's show is great, informative and it has fabulous music. I also realized just today that I really want to hang out with Mario while watching him cook, speak of Tom Waits and serve a transvestite. He and I could be such good friends!

[joe]

adam, great idea with the olive oil wrestling match. i'm so there. also agree Best Of is a disgrace, but it was been on the worst list for like 10 years now since Food Network just keeps running it over and over again. I cannot believe the Sandra Lee Bloody BEER Marys - shockingly awful. I am nauscious just thinking about it.

nicola, i would love to be in that little threesome watching mario cook, sitting next to michael stipe. but i remember when molto didnt have any guests on his show - actually thought that was more interesting. he would get into italian food/regional history that i thought was really nice to hear. he's a pretty smart dude.

[Adam]

Speaking of hosts who are better with no guests, remember Essence of Emeril? Those were the days. When Emeril shared interesting recipes for edible food, instead of chatting with Doc Gibbs and kicking things up one too many notches.

[joe]

i also thought that essence of emeril, pre emeril live days, was a very good show. he actually focused on cooking...can you imagine?

[elizabeth]

The dinner party part of the shows is the best. The real personalities of the hosts ooze out. Very amusing.

Ina gets this hysterical laugh, grabs the biggest serving of food. Oh, is that lobster for me? HA-HA-HA-HA HA-HA-HA-HA.

Michael Chiarello insults his guests, pretends its a joke.

Then there's the hosts and their family members... As much as I love Lydia, watching her attempt to inject some life and personality into Joe is painful. More Tanya, less Joe, I say.

And as much as I love Jacques, thank god Claudine got married and found something else to do.

[joe]

so true, elizabeth. i like how surly joe bastianich is. it doesn't make for fun! exciting! tv but it's so real to me, something everything else lacks. i like when lydia brings in kids, like her nephew (?) lorenzo. the dude can really pound down the pasta for such a youngster. they also force him to say her tagline in italian, very cute.

[Nan]

I'm SO happy. I've been bothered (on a daily basis) by Giada (creamy, smoky, tender, light, cheesy, etc...) and have had no one to vent to but my kids. What bit of masochism is it that makes me cause myself to suffer so?

Another one that bugs the crap out of me is the Barefoot Contessa. She is SO into herself and her food and friends, she practically has a foodgasm at least six times on every show.

Love Paula Deen, and Ham on the Street, though.

Nan

[Dan]

Regarding Giada DeLaurentis, I saw her at the Santa Monica Farmers' Market this past Saturday buying lettuce and herbs from Maggie's Farm produce stand. I went to buy my weekly bag of mixed greens from Maggie's and realized she was standing next to me, posing for her camera crew. She looks much less attractive in person than on tv. Her ass is rather flat with no shape and her boobs looked sort of shapeless also. She has a head that is very large and not proportionate to the rest of her body. The human head is supposed to be about 1/7th of total body size but in her case it's about 1/5th. She has huge hair that appeared to have artificial curves and waves to add it body. She also wore bronzer makeup on her face to give it color as though she were tanned by the sun, which she was not. Finally, she gave me a come hither look and is clearly sexually attracted to tall, powerfully built white men such as myself. Look for me standing next to her at the Farmers' Market on her tv show. I'm wearing a blue baseball cap and a blue sweater with red trim. I'm standing on her immediate right. Long story short, I bet she gives really good oral and would feed you a nice snack afterwards.

[Steve]

Paula absolutely kills me with the crap she makes. Who the hell combines shrimp/scallops with Cheese and Mayo and Ritz crackers??? I swear I couldn't eat for a week after I saw that..

[Ed]

Awesome! I too hate those phoney bullshit "friends" coming to dinner parties. I think Alton Brown has by far one of the most informative shows along with America's Test Kitchen (PBS)

[Frank]

EVOO thats extra virgin olive oil.Rachel,we know!!! How many frickin times are you gonna say that!!! "how good does that look?" Well, actually not that good. If you spent more than 30 min in the kitchen you might actually turn out a decent meal.

[JJ]

Well, I must agree with everyone here. I would have to say that Sandra Lee needs the axe. Her recipes if you can call them that would make most white trash women yack! Rachael Ray is a total puppett and hack her laugh makes me suicidal. Paula Dean is alful and her recipes must cause heart disease. I think that they need to make some shows that aren't so meat related. being vegetarian I can hardly eat any recipes that are on the lousy food network. I would also like them to get rid of that stupid low carb and barfing it. I mean if losing weight means you have to eat your own vomit I mean geez those recipes are out and out crap!!!

[irene mccann]

BRING BACK TONY BOURDAIN!!!!!

[DeAnna in Dallas]

Couldn't agree more with commentary on Sandra Lee -- although she has good ideas for themes--just don't use the her recipes. But Paula Dean ... obviously none of the commentators were from the South. That woman cooks like she could belong in most southern traditional families. Yes the food she makes is full of fat and fried, but it is very tasty on a special ocasion. It has it's place in the food tv world. She has southern charm and her lack of pretense is refreshing. Alton Brown is, by far, the best-- he teaches and enlightens while cooking everything from a simple hamburger to chocolate truffels.

[DeAnna in Dallas]

Couldn't agree more with commentary on Sandra Lee -- although she has good ideas for themes--just don't use the her recipes. But Paula Dean ... obviously none of the commentators were from the South. That woman cooks like she could belong in most southern traditional families. Yes the food she makes is full of fat and fried, but it is very tasty on a special ocasion. It has it's place in the food tv world. She has southern charm and her lack of pretense is refreshing. Alton Brown is, by far, the best-- he teaches and enlightens while cooking everything from a simple hamburger to chocolate truffels.

[found this blog by accidennt]

what a bunch a weridos you are- seriously I bet your all totally ugly- Paula and Giada and Sandra are awesome!!

[Anna]

I totally agree with your comments on Sandra Lee, or as we call her in my house, the Queen of Cool Whip. I think it is hysterical that she has color coordinated Kitchen Aid mixers and never uses them. As she continues to go under the knife for plastic surgery, her food also continues to get faker by the day. All she does is open packages. When her plastic surgery finally makes her look like Joan Rivers, maybe she will move to QVC and off of the food network. Nothing she makes is in the food pyramid anyway.

[Anna]

PS. Take a good look at Sandra Lee. Her latest surgery seems to be breast implants. Her hooters are huge. Either it was plastic surgery or the artificial ingredients of her fake food have taken over her breasts. I heard she got fake breasts because she is getting rid of her husband.

[ejr]

I agree about Sandra Lee and Giada, but I love Rachael Ray. Out of everyone on the Food network, hers are the only cookbooks I actually cook from.

[Lana]

one thing i like about 40$ a day is as a college student who travels alot, i tend to find myself in cities on a lark and not really know where to go to get a unique and tasty and reasonably priced snack/meal. while i probably would tip more than rachel does (as a summer time waitress i sympathize with my waiters/esses) and that benefits me. I also live near NYC so her NYC trips give me new ideas of places to visit.

and also, imo,

paula deens entire appeal is the fact that she isnt afraid to cook and eat disgustingly fattening stuff. Sometimes comfort foods just arnt the same without the butter. Sure she provides the butter and then some, but its so damn fun to watch her cook with it. Its truely a guilty pleasure and refreshing in the wave of healthfood (although i'll be the first to admit its the way we should eat, healthily, but sometimes its nice to see someone like a chef really buck the trend) and i dont know how many times a european friend has come to visit and i've wanted to cook them a 'american comfort meal' or they've requested one. And too many times i've been left wanting trying to figure out how to make a good chicken fried steak, collard greens or chicken and dumplings.

But mostly i think living vicariously through Paula's grease is the major appeal.

[procrustes]

My 01¢ worth.
Sandra Lee: uggghhh. What crap to put on the Food Channel. It's a disaster! I don't know her, and I don't want to. She can't cook, I know that much. Other than that she reminds me of someone who contrives everything to make it look a certain way, while behind the scenes she's something else (think Joan Crawford's tirade over the use of wire coathangers!).

Giada? At least she can cook pretty well, but her presentation leaves alot to be desired. Maybe it's the big head. Maybe it's the head full of teeth. Maybe it's the cross eyed look when she flashes the pearly whites and the camera zooms in on that huge noggin....scary!!! Her other show, Behind the Big Bash, is a stupid show. How does this promote the culinary arts?

Speaking of stupid shows, I agree with the remarks above about the 40$ a day show by Rachael Ray. I actually like her, but the shows she does are blahh. If the idea is to stay within 40 bucks a day by eating crap, hey, come on over! I can do that for 22.50!! What's the point? Root beer floats to accompany a meal? Gimme a break. And making a meal in 30 minutes? WhY??? Get a show, Rachael! You have a nice personality and a pleasing face and probably good skills...just get a format.

Paula Dean? Put her with Sandra and retire them. And throw the dope Chiarello in for good measure - there are already too many smarmy pretentious chefs on TV.

Emeril's ok. Not a great cook, but the show is good normally. Some of his dishes taste like they've come from the Paula Dean school, but others are really great tasting.

Bobby Flay grows on you. I've liked virtually all his shows. Again, not my favorite dishes, but all pretty good. Same with Tyler Florence.

Mario Batali makes great tasting dishes and his shows are full of information especially the molto mario show. I'd take this guy any day.

There's so much crap on the Food Network, what with their penchant for showing multiple episodes of Top Five (do I need a show devoted to how gummy bears are made?), not to mention next food network star and on and on. There are alot of great shows in the archives of TV, how about bringing back Jacques Pepin's fine shows (nobody handled a knife better than Jacques), or how about Pierre Franey? Just two examples of chef's whose shows really clicked in my opinion.

[Ive_Seen_It_All]

Wow, to the woman who likes Paula Dean's cooking - especially for "special ocassions". I guess the Hamburger Helper crowd needs a TV show too.

To add to the tally of opinions -

Mario & Lydia have the best shows out there. Whether it's Ciao America, or Molto Mario - or either of Lydia's shows - they are always safe bet for good TV. Giada has a terrific show. I think people just like to mock her - as I hear no one commenting on Ina's weight or Paula's attempt at makeup. Giada's food is classic Italian & italian food that Americans would eat easily. I like Alton's show as well. I do watch Ina's show - mostly for some of the entertaining tips (like the tablecloth fabric tip - for the problem of regular wine spills).

I whole heartedly agree that Rachel Ray and Sandra Brown MUST GO! They are both unbearable to watch and must be realted to someone to have gotten these jobs in the first place. I cant believe the person who brought them to TV still has a job.

[foodnet_junkie]

i really love watching the food network. though i just get into it recently, my favs are the everyday italian and barefoot contessa. i love giada, moreso because i love the way the show is filmed, camera, scene shots, i love it. i also am a stickler for italian food. i think she makes great food that i can mimic. ina garten just seems like a cool chick, who KNOWS food. like, personally, she knows what it does, how it should look, what it will do in a dish, on the stove, in the fridge... i respect that. i just watched paula dean's show for the first time the other day. hilarious! now this is a real southern chick. i dig her a lot. not trying to be pretentious about her dishes, she gives A LOT of credit to who she learned and perfected dishes from, and she's just funny as hell. i like hometown chicks. maybe i'll learn to be a little like each of them one day.

[Vin B. Foodie]

OMG, you hit the pretense, sheer lack of creativity, pompousness, and fakeness in many Food Network shows. Most of the PBS/public TV cooking shows have grounded hosts who actually have been cooking for a long time (Martin Yen, Ming Tsai, Rick Bayless, Linda Bastianich), and some of them have unforced charisma (dig Ming's dimpled smile, Lydia's warm maternal presence) and a sense of humor (Martin Yen).

I like Rachael Ray in moderate doses, but lately since she's been in cahoots with Oprah, her head/ego has ballooned in proportion to her weight; still she does not lie about the fact that she does not have official culinary training; at least she cooks on a rational, instinctive basis and she does not make use of pretentious, pricy ingredients like caviar and foie gras the way Michael Chiarello and Ina Garten do.
OTOH, Shamdra Lee is stiff, uncreative, pure Hamptons trophy wife who lied that she "went to Le Cordon Bleu in Paris" on the Food Network's "America's Next Food Star." She makes the angelic, graceful Giada de Laurentiis seem like Oprah Winfrey to her Sally Jesse Raphael.

[Amber]

This makes me want to go watch this mesmerizing Sandra Lee person so I too can share in the horror and insanity.

See, Michael Chiarello had a different show on Fine Living at one point, that I don't think featured a bunch of people coming over at the end laughing over their delicious feast made by their professional chef friend. I do love his recipes, and the cooking portions of the show, but I must agree about the contrived gatherings on ANY show. Blorf.

[MoneyMoy]

Yeah, I've all but given up on the direction of the Food Network's programming. Thankfully in my area there's now the WLIW Create channel which has lots of great shows in regular rotation and even occasionally some really good shows I've never seen anywhere else like The Kitchens of Biro. On the other hand, they also had the absolute worst, hardest-to-stomach cooking show of all time, Christina Cooks. Not only was Christina preparing unappealing food, but she also featured a creepy balding guitar player who would sing while she cooked as if it were a college dorm or something. Cutting between showering her dishes with hemp seeds to closeup shots of his stubby guitar playing fingers while singing crappy songs, it was the cooking show equivalent of watching a car wreck. I hope nobody ever has to see that show ever again!

[LA DEE DA]

OMG !!!! I HAVE BEEN SOOO WAITING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS SAME STUFF TO SOMEONE THAT CARES !!!NO ONE I KNOW EXCEPT MY BOYFRIEND EVEN HAS CABLE.WHY CAN'T THEY SHOW OLD JEFF SMITH/MARTIN YANG/JULIA CHILD ETC SHOWS.THE AMOUNT OF RERUNS IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST COMPLAINTS.I'VE STOPPED WATCHING A LOT DUE TO IT,SO WHEN THERE IS A NEW SHOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW.SANDRA LEE AND BOIL WATER THE WORST !!! TYLER FLORENCE GOOD ON HIS OWN THOUGH.HOW COME NO ONE MENTIONS THE NICE BUT NAP TIME SARA MOULTON....RACHEL WAY WAS GOOD BUT NEEDS XANAX...INA NEEDS A NEW OUTFIT AND EMERIL NEEDS TO LOSE HIS AUDIENCE.....OVER ALL THE IDEA OF THE CHANNEL IS GOOD BUT DIRECTION IS LACKING.I NEED TO START MY ON SHOW AS A SATIRE ON THEM.HOW FUN TO DREAM ABOUT,THANKS FOR LISTENING...

[Gorged_with_bad_food]

LOL I have enjoyed the comments here. As a guy, I find Rachael Ray strangely attractive considering her disproportionally small bosum and massive child-bearing hips mixed in with that large mouth and annoying voice that craves a gag. What is it about her? Maybe I am just horny...

I like Bobby Flay. But then, I may just like him because he does grilling shows. BTW did you see the 4th of July episode earlier where he used a whole bottle of rum for some mojitos? I tried doing them with less than half of that and I ended up almost achieving the "Roofie-colada" mixture with my wife and sister-in-law. Good luck staying up on that roof, Bobby, after drinking one glass of that.

Michael Chiarello has a good show. His voice is akin to a tranquilizer dart. You can't get pissed when he keeps talking in that slow syrupy voice of his. I hate all his friends though. Get a job, you bums! Why should this guy cook for all of you stuffed shirts, anyway?? Just because the man has issues with his sexuality, doesn't mean you take advantage of his good nature! Never seen so many hungry moochers this side of the Great Rock Candy Mountains.

Speaking of mountains, what else can I add about Sandra Lee. I didn't know about the rich hubby and the divorce. I know that her ideas would probably make Martha Stewart vomit all over her shoes. Skeletor with bolt -on boobs...What is it with long-limbed blonds who get breast implants?? In fact, I have never seen skiny blonds without implants. Do they come standard from the factory, or what? And why bother getting implants up there when you have a concave ass? Why not accept that God designed you with no curves? He gave the curves to the non-blondes...and made you blond...

Paula Deen...you are going to kill that husband of yours with all that fatty food. And stop getting shows on for those talentless, backward sons of yours! Stop it!

Giada...do you only eat when you taste the dishes you cook on tv? There is no way that you eat like a normal person. If you do and you still aren't gaining weight, then it is simple...you must die.

Emeril...Bam, you are done...Jumped the shark, man.

[docs97405]

How can ANY thinking person have an issue with Sandra Lee and NOT be brought to overwhelming nausea by hour after hour after hour after hour of Rachel Ray? My God...does her Daddy OWN the Network? Then There's Paula Deen's Rags to Riches..."I got me a Sugga Daddy, Yall"...Drivel. So Sandra Lee is a bit over the top and has GIGANTOR Boobs.....far MORE palatable than Rachel, Paula, the Two GAY boys and the White Haired Smart Ass.....Give Sandra a break...She's got Rachel Rays 55 different Shows beat hands down.

[TheseEyes]

Just a glimpse of "Semi-Homemade" makes me want to hurl the remote and if I hear ol' Emeril say "oh yeah babe" one more friggin' time, I'll just plain hurl, period!
It seems like quality cooking dedication has gone down the loo with respect to the "Bam-Master" and the two fat ladies who've both been singing waaaaay too long now, Paula Dean and Ina Garten.
A lot with Paula Dean is forgivable in the respect that she is a helluva lot more down to earth than Ina Garten. The "Flatfoot" Contessa has a snide and patronizing manner at times, especially when she flaunts "cooking on both sides of the Atlantic." She probably froze her Paris leftovers IF she didn't stuff them down her throat on the flight back to the states!

Rachael Ray: tolerable and mildly informative. The $40 a day scenario has merit.
Giada: Puleeeeeze! That bobble-head of hers, held up by giant Chicklet teeth! I agree with Giada's eating everything in sight, on camera, and then spitting it all out. Enough!
Emeril: Also tired of the knife comments; "Bread Knife, you know, that knife in your drawer that you don't know what to do with?" Trust me Em, I KNOW!
Bobby Flay: Gotta love him; he has that "certain something" and his recipe for Thanksgiving turkey on the grill with a Serrano Chili Glaze.....Outstanding!
Mario Batali: Wonderful chemistry with food and with people. A measure of a true "Italian"!
Alton Brown: Adore him; if I wasn't me already, I'd want to be him (in another life as a man, that is)
Michael Chiarello: A little whiny, and his website "Napa Style" offers items that are way overpriced. But, he's a food star and that goes with the territory, I guess.
Jim O'Connor: Cute host of what I feel is a fun show, "the Secret life of" He's energetic, goofy and charismatic.

Food TV needs some fine tuning; a couple of gastric bypasses, one cranial transplant and a good horse-tooth file (smirk)...mostly it needs to get back to good cooking basics and lose the whole "vegas" attitude that some of the hosts have been stricken with.

[bren]

I like Rachael Ray's new blond hair!! Married life really made her more attractive...she really flaunts herself a lot more than when she first started, but I say good for her...when you got it..flaunt it!!!

[E]

You know Paula Deen isn't spitting out her food after she eats it. These food shows should come with warnings, Don't do this at home! And they say fast food is killing America?
I liked Bobby Flay before he had the Texas BBQ show on with his girlfriend at the time now wife that he was cooking for, actress Stephanie March. Pleeeeeeeeeese she doesn't eat his cooking, he smoked a piece of meat that was literally bigger than her torso. It is a shame to marry a chef and you must only get to eat one bite a day. Maybe she is one of the lucky ones that can eat a whole pound of brisket and still weigh less than 100 lbs.

[Jesss]

hahahaha... i LOVED this post... i totally AGREE with most of it..
Sandra Lee- i can't stand her.. she's a total waste of money on behalf of the food network, her ideas suck.. she just sucks.
Paula- i like her, but she does cook extremely unhealthy but she's still alive so it cant be that bad.
Rachel- actually my sister and i enjoy making fun of her voice and her expressions.. she's extremely loud. basically a goofball but she has good ideas.. i hear she's getting a talk show?!
Ina- i've nicknamed her butter woman, and that laugh.. my god that laugh is like nails on a chalkboard.. yet i still like to watch her. but she really is like, "hi how are you- hahaha" "nice to- hahaha- see you" UGH.
Giada- i've nicknamed her the bratz doll.. im sure you see what i mean, and i really dont have any clue how that girl is as skinny as she is.. unless she has an eating disorder.. i wouldnt be suprised.
and i really like GOOD EATS, it's entertaining and gives good reciepes .. so its a win/ win
i dont like bobby flay that much or emeril.. dont know why i just dont...Ham ON the Street is a good show and i love the food network challenges.

[Cheryl]

Just discovered foodie nyc. Brilliant!
Tony Bourdain had the good sense to leave The Food Network and he had the BEST show. Given Bourdain's genius, there is no way he could have put up with the bull coming out of this network.
And, by the way people, Emeril...does he actually do anything on his cooking show except screw up the English language and dust bananas foster with 10x sugar? Boy, did this guy hit the lottery.

[Dan]

Yesterday, I watched Sandra Lee make something called Steak Tips with Wine and Artichokes. It consisted of two packages of Hormel(the Dinty Moore/SPAM people)mixed with a cup of Merlot and assorted veggies. It lookes like she had ventured out into the pasture and captured a fresh 'Meadow Muffin'. Does anyone at the Food Network taste that junk that she passes off? She is the worst to be sure, but there are others who fail as well:

Tyler Florence: How many times can this guy say 'okay' in one segment? Count 'em!

Paula Deen: Love ya hon but your food is 'love handles' fare!

Emeril: Did you ever taste that stuff that you 'Bam'd'? It is lousy and so are your books.

Mikey: a smarmy George W Boob clone with that smirk

Rachel: lousy food, we know what EVOO is...nuf said

On the plus side, there are some really great contributors. Mario Batalia really informs and Alton is the best! On the PBS roster, Lydia Bastianich, the folks at America's Test Kitchen and Steven Raichlen are first rate!

[Cheryl]

Okay, I've had it with the Food Network.

Somebody has got to take them D O W N!

[kelly]

Has anyone noticed how when Barefoot Contessa's friends or Jeffery arrive she laughs that fake giggle over and over again? It's like she's completely embarrassed by them all, the giggle drives me insane, she never does it while she's cooking. I love Emeril (we might be a few years behind here in NZ) but why does he have to keep going on about the food being 'happy' the audience laugh moronically at everything he says.

[Martha]

Enjoy the comments..great site and funny! I think Rachael Ray needs a hairnet! All that hair flipping around when she cooks....yuk! She won't be cookin' much longer now that she's going to be on TV. I wonder if she'll have a garbage bowl on her show?

[Huntley]

I'm sorry to say I disagree on Lidia. I simply can't watch her and her balding head make yet more boring Italian food. Can't someone get her a wig or something. It's like watching a cancer patient doddering around the kitchen. Was that mean?

[joe]

very! how can you say that about the italian grandma you wished you had?

[Cheryl]

for that extremely mean person with remarks to Lydia--your name is Martha??? as in Martha Stewart??

[Martha]

That wasn't me....it was Huntley...as in.....??? I like Lydia!

[Martha]

That wasn't me....it was Huntley...as in.....??? I like Lydia!

[Ryan]

I would love to have sex with Sandra Lee's breasts! Who cares about the food. Most of the women complaining here are probably roots anyway.